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Category Archives: Relationships

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Al’s Communologue Guidelines, Principles, Rules

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on February 10, 2021 by AlFebruary 17, 2021  

This is a very brief (bullet format) summary of the Rules and Principles I have used in guiding Communologue.

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Posted in Communication, Peace Building | Leave a reply

Map of Relationships: listen to or read the whole story

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on October 11, 2019 by Al TurtleOctober 11, 2019 5

I’ve posted the unabridged Map of Relationships in both written script and narrated MP3 versions. Print the Map itself and use it as you read or listen along.

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Posted in Map of Relationships | Tagged dialogue, safety, university of life | 5 Replies

Using the Lizard Image

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on January 14, 2016 by AlJanuary 14, 2016 2

The Lizard is, of course, a metaphor, a model.  It’s a way of looking at the part of all of us that manages safety and trust.  My primary article on the Lizard was written after I detailed all it’s components … Continue reading →

Posted in Main Page, Safety and Trust | 2 Replies

Handouts for My Basic Classes

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on October 22, 2014 by AlJune 16, 2019

These are the Graphics  for my classes in Anacortes, WA.  I don’t know if we will use them, but I think it’s nice to have them available to refer to.

  1. Map of Relationships 
  2. Safety / Lizard
  3. Reliable Membership
  4. PreValidation, Validation – Icebergs
  5. Master Slave (simple); Master Slave (focused); Valley of the Masters
  6. Communication
  7. Boundaries for Individuals; Boundaries for Couples
  8. Frustration and Conflict
  9. Peace Building
  10. Survival: Notes for Clingers
  11. Full Relationship 

Meeting on Bridge, Glacier Park, Montana - 2012

Here are a few more that we may use:

Map of Relationships (B&W)
ValleyofMasters
DefendingDemocracy
Flow of Feelings

All People Make Sense
Idontknow
Idontknowhowtosayit
Blame or Self-Responsibility

 

Noticing the Lizard in yourself and others.

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on May 25, 2014 by AlMay 25, 2014 20

This began as an answer to a question on the Marriage Advocates website.  Twas written back in February of 2011. Quote:  I have found that I’m very bad at identifying when other people’s lizard, particularly my partner’s, is triggered. I really … Continue reading →

Posted in Safety and Trust, Uncategorized | 20 Replies

Peace Building: The Essay

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on May 6, 2014 by Al TurtleJune 16, 2019  

When two people come together, they have a choice: to move toward Peace or to move toward War. The choices and the actions/habits that go with them are clear when one studies couples who are successful at bringing lasting Peace and those who are not.  (Sadly, most people I meet chose war!) What do you chose?  Here's my essay on this situation.

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Posted in Diversity, Peace Building | Tagged dialogue, essay, feelings, Imago, make sense, master-slave, mastertalk, mirroring, narcisism, peace, point of view, safety, share, trust, validation | Leave a reply

The Road to Empathy: The Essay

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on May 2, 2014 by Al TurtleJune 16, 2019 5

How about it? Want to learn to be empathic? Want to know when you aren't? Want to improve? I believe that more and more people will be talking about the “need for more empathy.” I believe that the primary cause of conflict in our families, our partnerships, our business, our marriages, our political communities, our churches, and in the world, is a pronounced lack of reliable empathic skills.

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Posted in Diversity, Main Page, Reliable Membership | Tagged boundary, dialogue, essay, fault, feelings, Imago, make sense, master-slave, mastertalk, mirroring, narcisism, need for connection, peace, point of view, pulling, safety, share, trust, validation | 5 Replies

Affairs and How I Approach the Topic

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on May 1, 2014 by Al TurtleJune 7, 2014 8

Prompted by a friend on an online forum (MarriageAdvocates) I decided to share my view of Affairs. You might call this a Lizard view of Affairs. (This is not beginner material.)

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Posted in Main Page, Relationships, Reliable Membership | Tagged affair, feelings, need for connection, point of view, safety, trust | 8 Replies

Awakening Purpose in Your Life

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on August 7, 2013 by AlAugust 8, 2013 4

I wrote this in August 2010 in response to the postings of some friends in Marriage Advocates, directly on this topic. There are several life events that bring this drive toward Purpose in Life to the surface: a close-brush-with-death is good, retirement or closing-of-a-job in men, children-leaving-home in women are a few examples. In many writings this is called a midlife- or an identity-crisis. Whatever, we have to deal with it.

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Posted in Map of Relationships, Purpose | Tagged dialogue, feelings, safety, share, trust | 4 Replies

Get the Book

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on April 30, 2013 by Al TurtleMarch 23, 2018 9

My friend, Scott Dodson, spent years reading and absorbing all the stuff I teach. The "method in his madness" was to write a marvelous fantasy book: kind of a "Harry Potter" meets Relationships. Alfred, the Turtle, not only is central, but seems to be able to fly!  At least on the cover. 

Turtle Logic and the University of Life

 

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Posted in Main Page, Map of Relationships | Tagged essay, Imago | 9 Replies

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