↓
 
  • How to Chat with Al
  • How to Use this Website
  • Glossary of Terms

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom

My Essays, Articles and Discussions

  • Home
  • Relationship Menus
    • Map of Relationships
    • Skills Menus
      • Safety and Trust
      • Reliable Membership
      • Diversity
      • Autonomy
      • Purpose
      • Communication
      • Boundaries
      • Feelings and Emotions
      • Healing the Past
    • Solving Problems
    • Stories
  • Peace Building
  • References
    • Couple’s Histories
    • Podcasts
  • Photos
    • Animals
    • Around the US
    • Drive Abouts
    • Polynesia
    • Pacific Northwest
    • Istanbul, January 2005
  • About Us
Home→Categories Main Page→Relationships→Skills→Boundaries

Category Archives: Boundaries

Triage: Seeing trouble in Relationships Around You

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on July 7, 2012 by Al TurtleNovember 25, 2014 1

I am beginning to use the word Triage to apply to the question, "How much should I get involved? How much energy is it wise to expend on this person? / this couple?"

Continue reading →
Posted in Boundaries, Main Page, Reliable Membership | Tagged boundary, dialogue, pulling, share | 1 Reply

“Your Stuff is Never My Fault”

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on February 10, 2010 by Al TurtleNovember 22, 2019 2

When someone says, “I’m hurt” or “That upsets me,” or “I'm anxious,” what is a useful response? I find this is a central problem in the common co-dependency I see. Here are some ideas and links to deeper understanding.

Continue reading →
Posted in Boundaries, Main Page | Tagged boundary, dialogue, fault, feelings, mirroring, passivity, share | 2 Replies

Mine or Yours or ?

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on April 21, 2008 by Al TurtleSeptember 25, 2012 2

I have been asked recently by people who are reading my papers on boundaries how to decide if something is mine or my partner's or what?? I was writing a response, and decided I'd better post it for everyone.

Continue reading →
Posted in Boundaries | Tagged boundary, dialogue, feelings, make sense, point of view, pulling, share | 2 Replies

Guilt, Fault, and Who is to Blame

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on August 29, 2007 by Al TurtleSeptember 25, 2012 3

My gosh, people get this simple issue so confused.  It isn’t all that difficult.  Here’s my poster on it.

Blame

In …

Continue reading →
Posted in Boundaries, Main Page | Tagged boundary, dialogue, fault, passivity | 3 Replies

Avoiding Transpersonal Pernicious Behavior in a Group

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on November 2, 2006 by Al TurtleJune 26, 2012 1

Some more thoughts on Guiding a Communologue Group. A new guideline added on Nov 1, '06.

Continue reading →
Posted in Boundaries, Peace Building | Tagged boundary, dialogue, feelings, make sense, master-slave, mastertalk, point of view, safety, share, trust | 1 Reply

Boundaries for Couples: The Essay

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on May 10, 2005 by Al TurtleJune 16, 2019 22

Even as I began to understand about boundaries for individuals, I was still stunned by what wildness happens in a committed couple. People keep telling me that they can get along with anyone except their partner at home. I frequently watch professionally competent couples act like little, tantrum-throwing, children in my office. What are the boundary issues that make the experiences of couples, or an intimate relationships, so powerful? This paper covers what I have learned going on.

Continue reading →
Posted in Boundaries, Diversity, Reliable Membership | Tagged boundary, dialogue, essay, feelings, Imago, master-slave, mirroring, narcisism, pulling, safety, share, trust | 22 Replies

Dear Turtle, (May 8th, 2005)

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on May 8, 2005 by Al TurtleSeptember 25, 2012 6

"Dear Turtle, My question is – how possible is it to change one's response to fear – say from FIGHT to FLEE?" 

Continue reading →
Posted in Boundaries, Reliable Membership | Tagged boundary, dialogue, feelings, make sense, need for connection, peace, point of view, pulling, safety, share, trust | 6 Replies

Excellent Boundaries

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on March 24, 2005 by Al TurtleJuly 7, 2023 6

Several years ago, I was asked during a class, “How do you know that you have a great relationship?” I found myself mentioning four attributes – one was “excellent boundaries.” Someone then asked, “How would you recognize excellent boundaries? What are their indicators?” I thought about that for several weeks. I came up with a list. I have found this list quite provocative.

Continue reading →
Posted in Boundaries, Reliable Membership | Tagged boundary, dialogue, feelings, Imago, make sense, mirroring, share, validation | 6 Replies

Boundaries for Individuals: The Essay

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on March 22, 2005 by Al TurtleJune 16, 2019 14

This is my paper on Boundaries for Individuals. This is everything I think a person needs to know about setting up and maintaining their differences when someone else is around. It contains all my thinking on personal boundaries. Enjoy.

Continue reading →
Posted in Boundaries | Tagged boundary, dialogue, essay, feelings, make sense, master-slave, peace, point of view, pulling, safety, share, trust | 14 Replies

Enter Words / Phrases

Friend Sites

  • Imago Relationship Therapy
  • Relationship Builders: Hedy & Yumi
  • Jim Wells
  • Laura Lavigne
  • Owen Pearn (Owenparachute)

Marriage Advocates Discussions

  • 1 – Safety
  • 2 – Reliable Membership
  • 3 – Bullying and being Passive
  • 4 – Validation. Understanding.
  • 5 – Map of Relationships.
  • 6 – Unavoidable Collapse of Romance
  • 7 – Communication Skills

Recent Comments

  • Jim Ertola on Words / Lyrics for the Holiday Sing-Along with Mitch Miller
  • Al on What to do when He/She Leaves?
  • Mrs. Miller on What to do when He/She Leaves?
  • Lorraine on What to do when He/She Leaves?
  • Mary Turtle on What to do when He/She Leaves?

Tag cloud

fault essay codependent peace master-slave validation trust dialogue point of view need for connection make sense affair mastertalk passivity pulling narcisism feelings choice point mirroring boundary codependency Imago safety share university of life
Footer HTML
©2023 - Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom - Weaver Xtreme Theme
↑