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Home→Categories Main Page→Relationships→Skills→Safety and Trust 1 2 >>

Category Archives: Safety and Trust

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Using the Lizard Image

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on January 14, 2016 by AlJanuary 14, 2016 2

The Lizard is, of course, a metaphor, a model.  It’s a way of looking at the part of all of us that manages safety and trust.  My primary article on the Lizard was written after I detailed all it’s components … Continue reading →

Posted in Main Page, Safety and Trust | 2 Replies

Noticing the Lizard in yourself and others.

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on May 25, 2014 by AlMay 25, 2014 20

This began as an answer to a question on the Marriage Advocates website.  Twas written back in February of 2011. Quote:  I have found that I’m very bad at identifying when other people’s lizard, particularly my partner’s, is triggered. I really … Continue reading →

Posted in Safety and Trust, Uncategorized | 20 Replies

Safety and The Lizard: The Essay

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on March 20, 2009 by Al TurtleNovember 1, 2022 38

The first most important skill in any relationship is about how to create a tone of safety – how to reliably lower each other's blood pressure. This paper is the background.

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Posted in Diversity, Reliable Membership, Safety and Trust | Tagged dialogue, essay, fault, feelings, make sense, need for connection, point of view, pulling, safety, share, trust | 38 Replies

Caring Days: Discussion

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on November 7, 2007 by Al TurtleSeptember 25, 2012  

This is my response to a great set of questions posted on my article on the Problem with Expectations. But it covers so much territory, I decided to repond with an article. My thanks to the Poster.

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Posted in Safety and Trust | Tagged dialogue, feelings, make sense, master-slave, passivity, safety, share, trust, validation | Leave a reply

Lizard Chats: Seeing as our little friend sees it.

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on October 29, 2007 by Al TurtleSeptember 16, 2012 1

This is a continuation of a discussion begun based on my paper on Safety and the Lizard Brain. An exercise in seeing the partnership of the reptilian brain, how it works, what it is trying to do. Click here for the original article on Safety.

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Posted in Safety and Trust | Tagged boundary, essay, feelings, Imago, safety, trust | 1 Reply

Caring Behaviors

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on January 30, 2006 by Al TurtleJanuary 30, 2006 8

This paper is an excerpt from my essay on SAFETY, The Lizard. It describes tactics for “making your partner feel safe.”

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Posted in Safety and Trust | Tagged essay, feelings, Imago, pulling, safety, trust | 8 Replies

Becoming a Source of Safety: Practical Steps

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on July 14, 2005 by Al TurtleJuly 14, 2005  

I was asked recently what are the steps to follow, practically, when you see your partner backing away from you – even in everyday situations. I think the person was simultaneously looking for specific things to do and trying to head off trouble.

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Posted in Safety and Trust | Tagged dialogue, pulling, safety, share, trust | Leave a reply

Caring Days: The Skill

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on April 12, 2005 by Al TurtleApril 12, 2005 6

One important issue that all couples face is making things fair and keeping them that way. I believe things are fair when two people both believe they are fair. When either thinks it's not fair, then it isn't. Takes only one for unfairness, and it takes two for it to be fair.

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Posted in Safety and Trust | Tagged dialogue, feelings, Imago, mirroring, safety, share, trust, validation | 6 Replies

About the Safety Presentation – “The Lizard”

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on April 7, 2005 by Al TurtleApril 21, 2020  

This is actually a fairly old presentation. Sandra and I found it so valuable for ourselves that we have been giving to all couples for many years. We decided that “making friends” with our internal safety mechanism was a very useful idea. Sandra was the one who first called this reptilian brain function, the Lizard.

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Posted in Safety and Trust | Tagged dialogue, pulling, safety, trust | Leave a reply

Safety and The Lizard: A Chart

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on March 9, 2005 by Al TurtleMarch 9, 2005  

This is the chart that goes with the Safety/Lizard Essay.

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Posted in Safety and Trust | Tagged safety, trust | Leave a reply

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