When two people come together, they have a choice: to move toward Peace or to move toward War. The choices and the actions/habits that go with them are clear when one studies couples who are successful at bringing lasting Peace and those who are not. (Sadly, most people I meet chose war!) What do you chose? Here's my essay on this situation.
How about it? Want to learn to be empathic? Want to know when you aren't? Want to improve? I believe that more and more people will be talking about the “need for more empathy.” I believe that the primary cause of conflict in our families, our partnerships, our business, our marriages, our political communities, our churches, and in the world, is a pronounced lack of reliable empathic skills.
I was asked recently the simple question, "What's the big deal about Validation? Why is it so sought after?" This is what came to mind.
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Relationship confusion. Though I have written many times about this topic, I still find it the hardest for people to grasp. And in all my experience of relating, in starting a relationship, recovering one, maintain a high reliable quality of connection, this is the most important. Here is another attempt to make the relational situation clearer. [I’ve also been reminded that this is Advanced Relationship material – not for beginners.]
How to approach relationship challenges? Tis all about applying knowledge of the Biological Dream and learning those skills. Tis all about knowing where you currently are on the Map of Relationships. Here are some examples.
Continue reading →This is an excerpt from my paper on Dialogue in a Hierarchy. It focuses on decision making. It now includes a chart.
Continue reading →I think that “Being Dialogical” is the inverse of being Emotionally Symbiotic. If we keep an ear out for MasterTalk, and remove it, we can easily and durably stay in a Dialogical space.
Continue reading →Probably no question has been put to me so often these days as to what I mean by the phrase “Make Sense.” The Diversity Principle: “All people make sense all the time,” is for me one of the most useful tools I've come up with. It allows me to connect with people who are doing things that I don?t at first understand or like. It allows me to continue to more and more fully understand myself. It is a keystone tool in helping people build self-esteem. And it is a tool that stands up clearly, setting me against what I call “the pathology of our culture.”
Continue reading →An open letter (probably with lots of typos) that I wrote to any and all Imago Therapists during my vacation in the mountains in early September 2005. In it I pose an important question. Is what I am doing "Imago?"
Continue reading →Probably about 70% of couples I see have a significant problem with controlling. What is this? How does it work? What can you do about it? In this article I will try to answer those questions and share solutions with you.
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