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Home→Categories Main Page→Relationships→Solving Problems

Category Archives: Solving Problems

The Glories of Rebellion, Stubbornness and Passivity

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on December 30, 2007 by Al TurtleSeptember 25, 2012 5

Been thinking of this for some time. I keep finding that sometimes being Rebellious is the way to go. Sometimes Stubbornness is wonderful. Even sometimes Passivity is a jewel. But when? I've never shared my enthusiasm about rebelling and being stubborn, and I fear I have given passivity a "bad rap." Enjoy!

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Posted in Autonomy, Solving Problems | Tagged boundary, dialogue, passivity, point of view, pulling, safety, share | 5 Replies

Getting an Answer: When He/She Won’t Make a Decision

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on November 26, 2007 by Al TurtleSeptember 25, 2012 21

A recent letter sparked me to thinking about how I handle this tough situation. I have been using this all purpose skill for a dozen years, recommending it to my clients. Some use it. Some don’t. Sometimes it makes things “better.” Sometimes it seems to make things “worse.” Life is like that. Take a-look.

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Posted in Main Page, Map of Relationships, Reliable Membership, Solving Problems | Tagged affair, feelings, trust, university of life | 21 Replies

Gullible or Skeptical: Trust

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on November 15, 2006 by Al TurtleNovember 15, 2006  

Being gullible or being skeptical. How much? I was talking to another old guy last evening and we both shared …

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Posted in Solving Problems | Tagged dialogue, safety, share, trust | Leave a reply

The Problem with Expectations

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on November 8, 2006 by Al TurtleApril 13, 2013 6

"You are not entitled!" Get it. (On the receiving end, "You are not obliged!) Learn how to deal with Frustrations and "letting go" of things we are Not Entitled To.

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Posted in Main Page, Solving Problems | Tagged boundary, dialogue, feelings, share, trust | 6 Replies

“We haven’t had a fight since we got married,” Eh? Oh-oh.

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on April 10, 2005 by Al TurtleMay 16, 2012  

“When I do premarital and marital counseling, I always have a sinking feeling when couples proudly affirm that they have never had a fight.”

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Posted in Solving Problems | Tagged feelings, safety | Leave a reply

Problem Solving for Couples: The Essay

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on March 26, 2005 by Al TurtleApril 13, 2013 5

Everyone has problems. Problems are situations that cause you distress – frustration. I think a problem is avoided when you do not experience the situation any more. I believe a problem is solved when the situation occurs, and you no longer get upset or frustrated. A couple will have between them almost twice as many problems as an individual. I guess you might as well learn how to solve problems. Get going.

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Posted in Solving Problems | Tagged boundary, dialogue, essay, pulling, share | 5 Replies

Problems Solving: A Chart

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on March 18, 2005 by Al TurtleJune 16, 2019  

This is the chart that goes with the paper. Good skills to learn.

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Resentments: Getting Rid of Them

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on March 17, 2005 by Al TurtleAugust 8, 2013 21

This paper discusses the issue of Resentment that from time to time becomes an important issue in couples or between groups of people. It includes suggestions on how to remove the resentment. I believe this cannot be done, passively, by waiting. Resentment does not seem to go away by letting time pass. I believe resentment only goes away via the use of validation, and dialogue.

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Posted in Diversity, Healing the Past, Reliable Membership, Solving Problems | Tagged boundary, dialogue, fault, feelings, Imago, mirroring, passivity, pulling, safety, share, trust, validation | 21 Replies

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