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Affairs and How I Approach the Topic — 8 Comments

  1. Waking up can be quite rude and crude, but I think it is worth it. I would go ahead and get help on PreValidating and eventually validating why you would/did take advantage of your wife. Such information will likely help you in learning to respect her and others, while still respecting yourself. Good luck.

  2. Dr. Turtle,
    I am the fool that my wife is talking about. I cannot validate any realistic reasons as to why I took advantage of my wifes comatose condition. I can validate that I am now awake and so glad I found your logic.
    I am very awake and very aware for once in my life. My wife is the sweetest, most understanding lady anyone will ever know. I cherish every moment that I have with this beautiful lady. I am working very hard now to prove to her that I am sincere with my words and actions this time.
    I just hope and pray that my lovely wife will indeed give me an opportunity to be her partner for many years to come. I realize that I have made many mistakes and also took advantage of her kindness. I am reading every piece of material that I can find to help me become the partner that she desires. I have read and re-read every chapter you have here. I also plan on contacting one of your counselors as soon as my insurance starts.
    I am an over the road truck driver who is gone during the week. I felt sorry for myself and instead of discussing issues with my wife, I decided to seek my meaningless pleasures elsewhere. I was so wrong. I realize that now and am willing and ready to do my very best for my wife and teenage son…

  3. Good question. I probably would tell him
    “I am waking up after many years of being asleep. While I was sleeping, I was letting other people and their ideas run my life. No more. ”
    “I will continue to be grumpy, like a bear out of hibernation, for some time as I get my feet on the ground. I may stumble around for a while, too.”
    “When I am done, I will probably end up being a better partner for someone – maybe you. If you choose to wake-up also, that's fine by me. If you choose not to wake-up, I imagine I will at some time probably say, 'Goodbye.'”
    “Right now, I am waking and will not, will not, will not go back to sleep.”
    Good luck.

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