I wrote this in August 2010 in response to the postings of some friends in Marriage Advocates, directly on this topic. There are several life events that bring this drive toward Purpose in Life to the surface: a close-brush-with-death is good, retirement or closing-of-a-job in men, children-leaving-home in women are a few examples. In many writings this is called a midlife- or an identity-crisis. Whatever, we have to deal with it.
Continue reading →I was asked recently the simple question, "What's the big deal about Validation? Why is it so sought after?" This is what came to mind.
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A fun article with labels for the different types of relationships. Tis all based on my Map of Relationships and experience. Take this as seriously as you choose.
Work, Work! In this article I want to share my view of the process of how to get a great relationship from the very widest perspective. I suggest that you read my paper on the Map of Relationship first, to prepare to grasp this view.
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People frequently come to me with this problem. Some years ago I came up with an answer and have not felt the need to change it. It works. Follow the four steps.
Relationship confusion. Though I have written many times about this topic, I still find it the hardest for people to grasp. And in all my experience of relating, in starting a relationship, recovering one, maintain a high reliable quality of connection, this is the most important. Here is another attempt to make the relational situation clearer. [I’ve also been reminded that this is Advanced Relationship material – not for beginners.]
How to approach relationship challenges? Tis all about applying knowledge of the Biological Dream and learning those skills. Tis all about knowing where you currently are on the Map of Relationships. Here are some examples.
Continue reading →Tis done. Here are 8 hours of chatting about my work. Laura is a very helpful interviewer and producer. Check out other work she does. This article has the links to MP3 files of all sessions. Download and enjoy.
Continue reading →I was asked recently about vows for a wedding or for committing to a special partner. The request was to include the Biological Dream and the idea of a journey together. Here's the result. Twas a fun exercise.
Continue reading →FOR INSPIRATION, TRY THIS! This sort of thing doesn't come often to an old therapist, but it is welcome. Here's an ex-client who, I think, got it. “You can either be in Relationship or Right. You can either Validate or be Right. You can either be Empathic or be Right. Take your pick.” Thanks to you, friend.
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