HomeMain PageRelationshipsMap of RelationshipsWhat to do when He/She Leaves?


What to do when He/She Leaves? — 757 Comments

  1. My husband left during a intense disagreement. I wanted to discuss it, but he left. He is going to talk with me in 10 days. He has me blocked and I don’t know where he is.
    I got very angry which scared him.
    How do I respond when he does call?
    Do I just listen and validate?
    Any help would be great.

    • I am encouraging my daughter to respond to people’s comments. “Listening and validating is a very good start. Keeping the focus on trying to understand his viewpoint (and resisting the urge to press your own views) can help your partner feel safer in your presence. When someone leaves, reestablishing trust and safety is the first priority; only then, can work on the other issues really begin. I would also encourage you to continue working on yourself and find support for yourself as you go through this (as referenced in the “What to do When He/She Leaves” paper). Staying calm, open and nonjudgmental takes a lot of practice and patience. Thank you for writing and good luck with the call and moving forward.
      By Mary.”

      I also wanted to add a clue to focus upon. Anger seems a really common problem. It seems firmly linked to bullying and is toxic in long term relationships. I’ve written and faced the issue for years and years. I suggest you do an internet search for “Al turtle anger” and check out some of the articles.
      By Al.

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