This is an often requested list of brief definitions of my words. From time to time I will add to this list. Insert these words in the Search function on the front page of my website to see the articles where I use these terms.
Continue reading →This is the script of a DVD of the full form of the Map of Relationships. Part VI, Questions and Answers.
Continue reading →A simple look at ways of getting people to do what you want and like you. "What can you do to make them inclined to do what you want. What are you doing that makes them not inclined to do what you want."
Continue reading →Probably no question has been put to me so often these days as to what I mean by the phrase “Make Sense.” The Diversity Principle: “All people make sense all the time,” is for me one of the most useful tools I've come up with. It allows me to connect with people who are doing things that I don?t at first understand or like. It allows me to continue to more and more fully understand myself. It is a keystone tool in helping people build self-esteem. And it is a tool that stands up clearly, setting me against what I call “the pathology of our culture.”
Continue reading →When I don't have much time with an audience, I often share this brief version of a Map of Relationships. I can give this in about 10 minutes and still point people in the "right" direction.
Continue reading →An open letter (probably with lots of typos) that I wrote to any and all Imago Therapists during my vacation in the mountains in early September 2005. In it I pose an important question. Is what I am doing "Imago?"
Continue reading →When we listen, do we understand? When we speak, do we get to feel understood? The skills of understanding, making a person feel understood, and speaking so that someone can understand you, are very important. In this article I hope to be able to explain about this and start you on your way. Seek to become an expert. I think this is really worth the investment.
Continue reading →I am presenting this paper as a discussion of dialogue norms to use in Power Differential Relationships. My goal is to re-approach One-up/One-down situations from the relational model, the dialogical model that is central to Imago Relationship theory and practice.
The paper is divided into three sections:
1. Types of Power Differential Situations
2. Decision Making as the legitimate reason for Power Differential Situations
3. The Four Challenges facing groups trying to make decisions.
Even as I began to understand about boundaries for individuals, I was still stunned by what wildness happens in a committed couple. People keep telling me that they can get along with anyone except their partner at home. I frequently watch professionally competent couples act like little, tantrum-throwing, children in my office. What are the boundary issues that make the experiences of couples, or an intimate relationships, so powerful? This paper covers what I have learned going on.
"Dear Turtle, My question is – how possible is it to change one's response to fear – say from FIGHT to FLEE?"
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