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Home→Categories Main Page→Relationships→Skills - Page 4 << 1 2 3 4 5 6 … 12 13 >>

Category Archives: Skills

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Mine or Yours or ?

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on April 21, 2008 by Al TurtleSeptember 25, 2012 2

I have been asked recently by people who are reading my papers on boundaries how to decide if something is mine or my partner's or what?? I was writing a response, and decided I'd better post it for everyone.

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Posted in Boundaries | Tagged boundary, dialogue, feelings, make sense, point of view, pulling, share | 2 Replies

“MasterTalk”: Recognizing it gets even simpler

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on February 18, 2008 by Al TurtleFebruary 18, 2008  

Recognizing MasterTalk, avoiding it, reframing it gets simpler.

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Posted in Autonomy | Tagged dialogue, feelings, master-slave, mastertalk, mirroring, passivity, share | Leave a reply

Feelings and Emotions: The Essay, Part Four, Appropriate Expression

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on January 22, 2008 by Al TurtleOctober 17, 2017 7

This is the last part of my essay on Feelings and Emotions. I am going to be speaking about “expression.” Now, lack of emotional expression, I believe, causes huge confusion in relationships and and will shorten your life. But, incorrect expression causes lots and lots of trouble, too. My goal is to focus on what I call “Appropriate Expression.” Many groups and cultures have strong rules about the “correct” way to express or hold in emotions. What I am going to write may seem to go against many of those rules – may seem critical of them. I do not choose to set myself up in that judgmental position. I simply want to share what I have learned.

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Posted in Diversity, Feelings and Emotions, Reliable Membership | Tagged dialogue, essay, fault, feelings, make sense, master-slave, mastertalk, mirroring, passivity, pulling, safety, share, trust, validation | 7 Replies

The Glories of Rebellion, Stubbornness and Passivity

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on December 30, 2007 by Al TurtleSeptember 25, 2012 6

Been thinking of this for some time. I keep finding that sometimes being Rebellious is the way to go. Sometimes Stubbornness is wonderful. Even sometimes Passivity is a jewel. But when? I've never shared my enthusiasm about rebelling and being stubborn, and I fear I have given passivity a "bad rap." Enjoy!

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Posted in Autonomy, Solving Problems | Tagged boundary, dialogue, passivity, point of view, pulling, safety, share | 6 Replies

Getting an Answer: When He/She Won’t Make a Decision

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on November 26, 2007 by Al TurtleSeptember 25, 2012 21

A recent letter sparked me to thinking about how I handle this tough situation. I have been using this all purpose skill for a dozen years, recommending it to my clients. Some use it. Some don’t. Sometimes it makes things “better.” Sometimes it seems to make things “worse.” Life is like that. Take a-look.

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Posted in Main Page, Map of Relationships, Reliable Membership, Solving Problems | Tagged affair, feelings, trust, university of life | 21 Replies

Skindiving Mistakes: Depending Too Much on Him/Her

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on November 22, 2007 by Al TurtleOctober 30, 2012  

This is part of the set of problems I’ve found in connecting reliably to another person. In it I am looking mostly at the situation from the point of view of the clinging or more needy partner. Heck, that was me. And it is a bit of history. I wrote this about 8 years ago as I was figuring out the problem of, and solution to, Reliable Membership.

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Posted in Reliable Membership | Tagged feelings, point of view, trust | Leave a reply

Caring Days: Discussion

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on November 7, 2007 by Al TurtleSeptember 25, 2012  

This is my response to a great set of questions posted on my article on the Problem with Expectations. But it covers so much territory, I decided to repond with an article. My thanks to the Poster.

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Posted in Safety and Trust | Tagged dialogue, feelings, make sense, master-slave, passivity, safety, share, trust, validation | Leave a reply

Lizard Chats: Seeing as our little friend sees it.

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on October 29, 2007 by Al TurtleSeptember 16, 2012 1

This is a continuation of a discussion begun based on my paper on Safety and the Lizard Brain. An exercise in seeing the partnership of the reptilian brain, how it works, what it is trying to do. Click here for the original article on Safety.

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Posted in Safety and Trust | Tagged boundary, essay, feelings, Imago, safety, trust | 1 Reply

Guilt, Fault, and Who is to Blame

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on August 29, 2007 by Al TurtleSeptember 25, 2012 3

My gosh, people get this simple issue so confused.  It isn’t all that difficult.  Here’s my poster on it.

Blame

In …

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Posted in Boundaries, Main Page | Tagged boundary, dialogue, fault, passivity | 3 Replies

Notes: On Teaching Validation

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on August 29, 2007 by Al TurtleSeptember 25, 2012  

Notes on my seminar about Validation. I share what I have learned, how, and what I have come to believe validation is.

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Posted in Diversity | Tagged dialogue, Imago, make sense, master-slave, mastertalk, mirroring, peace, point of view, safety, share, validation | Leave a reply

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