How much should you tell?
This discusses a great and eroding problem within a relationship: keeping silent, keeping secrets.
Continue reading →Category Archives: Skills
Directions to Go
A listing of possible relationship problems – linked to solutions.
Continue reading →PreValidation: More Thoughts
Here are some more thoughts about PreValidation and Validation.
Continue reading →Resentments: Getting Rid of Them
This paper discusses the issue of Resentment that from time to time becomes an important issue in couples or between groups of people. It includes suggestions on how to remove the resentment. I believe this cannot be done, passively, by waiting. Resentment does not seem to go away by letting time pass. I believe resentment only goes away via the use of validation, and dialogue.
Diversity and PreValidation: A Chart
To really grasp Diversity, I think people need to have an image, a model, that makes sense of Understanding and Validation. I have used this model for three years and it works. It defines “making sense”, “understanding”, “validation” and that most valuable of skills, “PreValidation”.
Continue reading →Mirroring: The Skill
This is the training tool for communication. It's purpose is to train people in the 52 distinct skills necessary for making speakers feel heard and making listeners relaxed while listening to anything.
Continue reading →Mirroring Benefits
What is mirroring good for? Here's a list.
Continue reading →Mirroring as a Training Tool
This is a true story I sometimes tell people who are first learning to use Mirroring and who are resisting practicing.
Continue reading →MasterTalk: Samples of Dealing with it.
I use these three terms (Master, Slave, Friend) to refer to the three positions from which and to which communication can be addressed. These are similar to the positions in Transactional Analysis of Parent, Child, and Adult. No one is a Master. They just speak, and perhaps think, from the Master position. No one is a Slave. They just speak from the Slave position.
MasterTalk seems extremely easy to identify in conversation and writing.
MasterTalk: The Language
Handling the language of Master/Slave Relationships
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