HomeMain PageRelationshipsSkillsBoundariesAvoiding Transpersonal Pernicious Behavior in a Group


Avoiding Transpersonal Pernicious Behavior in a Group — 1 Comment

  1. Al,

    Thank you so much for this and for the notes on the guiding interventions. I’ve learned a lot over the years about forming a healthy relationship with my partner from your site and came here looking for more ideas now that a work situation has arisen that left me needing some new tactics.

    An organization I frequently work for is facing financial difficulties. Employees are looking at potentially large pay cuts, loss of benefits, etc., and over the past couple of months I have seen a happy, loving community of coworkers become very scared and angry. In response they are doing just as you’ve described and looking around for anyone doing anything wrong so they can blame them– administrators, colleagues/friends, society, anyone really. Snarky comments and eye rolling abound, and it has become a very uncomfortable place to be. I find myself feeling absolutely drained from hearing a near-constant stream of judgements, complaints, pessimism, and very middle school-like gossip during a day at work. It’s gotten so bad that I even found myself participating a few times, which frankly made me feel ill, but it’s hard not to get caught up in the sentiment. Reminds me of the slime in Ghostbusters 2!

    I would like to try the tactics you describe (mirroring, etc.), and also would just like to be up front with the people around me how I’m affected by what is said to and around me, but am nervous because I’m not a full-time employee there. My continuing to be contracted revolves around these same coworkers continuing to request me, so I need to avoid offending them. Not that it’s fun to work somewhere so negative, but the work we do is incredibly rewarding, and frankly there are limited employment opportunities in my field. In other words, I really do need this work. I also hope things will get ironed out at some point and they’ll be fun again…

    Do you have any particular advice for dealing with what equates to several really negative bosses? I’m trying to face all of this with compassion for their situation, and they don’t seem to say anything awful about me because I’m not there quite enough to give them anything to blame me for, but hearing so much negativity is still really depressing me.

    Thank you!

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