© Al Turtle 2004
To the One Who Mirrors
- Know what to do, no matter what is said to you.
- Know how to slow down a person speaking to you.
- Have a delay between hearing something and having to respond.
- Break the habit of interrupting.
- Show involvement with the speaker (interest), without any kind of agreement.
- Develop boundary skills to keep what you are hearing separate from what you are thinking.
- Have your beliefs comfortably different from your partner’s. Permits diversity.
- Remove the mistake of miss-hearing.
To the One Who is Being Mirrored
- Know that you won’t get interrupted.
- Know that you can get to finish your point.
- Have a delay after you say something, so that you can review and say it better.
- Have time to focus on what you are thinking and trying to say.
- Have help at saying what you want, accurately.
- Break the habit of speaking to yourself only, when another is present.
- Develop the habit of thinking of your audience while speaking.
- Assures you that your listener is actually listening. You are being heard.
- Allow you to say tough things, clearly.
- Develop boundary skills, that your words are yours.
To Both speaker and listener.
- Develop habits of patience.
- Develop individual boundaries and boundary skills.
- Reliably stop all arguments.
- Reliably stop all yelling.
- Vastly improve communication. Normal 16% increases to 96%.
- Not familiar, awkward
- Conversation appears much slower.
- Takes discipline.
- Requires patience.
You’ve heard of a ghost-writer. This is someone who helps an author to put their ideas into a clear and publishable form. A person who will mirror is a ghost-speaker – someone who helps the speaker put their ideas into clear and understandable forms.