The Logic of Power Differentials: Heirarchy and Dialogue

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on by 4

I am presenting this paper as a discussion of dialogue norms to use in Power Differential Relationships. My goal is to re-approach One-up/One-down situations from the relational model, the dialogical model that is central to Imago Relationship theory and practice.
The paper is divided into three sections:
1. Types of Power Differential Situations
2. Decision Making as the legitimate reason for Power Differential Situations
3. The Four Challenges facing groups trying to make decisions.

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Stop Domestic Violence

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on by 1

Look, domestic violence is nothing more that the behavior of a bully or bullies who grew up learning that tantrums get you what you want. It is nothing more than the action of a person who is “in control,” doing what they were taught, over and over as they grew up. And it is a hard habit or learning to stop – just like any other habit that works sometimes. It will taper off or stop when that behavior clearly no longer works.

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Relationship Help

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on by  

Relationship Help!: I've never met anyone whose intimate relationship couldn't use some help. We don't know how to solve everything. If our parents had trouble, they didn't know how to solve everything and thus they couldn't teach us.
At some point, each of us run up against problems that we don't have the tools to solve.

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Marriage Help

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on by  

Marriage Help!: I've never met anyone whose marriage couldn't use some help. We don't know how to solve everything. If our parents had trouble, they didn't know how to solve everything and thus they couldn't teach us. As some point each of us run up against problems that we don't have the tools to solve. The wise thing to do at that point is to learn. Start to study. Look for people who have solved that trouble. Try new things. Read books. Get help. And don't wait. Most couples that come to me seem to wait until the very last moment.

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Learn Good Communication

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on by  

Learn Good Communication: It is not that hard, but it does take training. Communication is a skill. If you don't have good communication, it just means you had poor training. Good communication comes naturally to those who were taught good communication as children. It is never to late to learn. If poor communications is your problem, fix it. Learn. I did.

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Boundaries for Couples: The Essay

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on by 22

Even as I began to understand about boundaries for individuals, I was still stunned by what wildness happens in a committed couple. People keep telling me that they can get along with anyone except their partner at home. I frequently watch professionally competent couples act like little, tantrum-throwing, children in my office. What are the boundary issues that make the experiences of couples, or an intimate relationships, so powerful? This paper covers what I have learned going on.

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