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Home→Categories Main Page→Relationships→Skills→Reliable Membership - Page 2 << 1 2 3 4 5 6 >>

Category Archives: Reliable Membership

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Vintage Love: What does it look like?

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on February 10, 2010 by Al TurtleJuly 11, 2013  

I got this question, recently. Apparently in my Map of Relationships I have not described it enough. I guess I just referred to it as a "place" that people, all people want to go to. Well, ok, I'll share some thoughts on it.

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Posted in Diversity, Main Page, Map of Relationships, Reliable Membership | Tagged boundary, dialogue, master-slave, safety, share, trust, university of life, validation | Leave a reply

“Out of the Blue” means “Read the Tea Leaves”

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on February 10, 2010 by Al TurtleFebruary 10, 2019 37

So many times I've heard the phrase, "he/she did that out of the blue." I love the phrase. It seems so colorful. And also many people write me, and read my thoughts, about what to do when he/she leaves. Put these two issues together and I give you this article.

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Posted in Communication, Main Page, Map of Relationships, Reliable Membership | Tagged affair, dialogue, make sense, pulling, share, trust, validation | 37 Replies

It started with the word “Resentment”

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on February 10, 2010 by Al TurtleSeptember 25, 2012  

Written: Aug 4th, 2009. “I stumbled upon you site after googling resentment! After years of an emotional roller coaster marriage…things are finally making sense!”

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Posted in Couple's Histories, Reliable Membership | Leave a reply

Safety and The Lizard: The Essay

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on March 20, 2009 by Al TurtleAugust 20, 2019 36

The first most important skill in any relationship is about how to create a tone of safety – how to reliably lower each other's blood pressure. This paper is the background.

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Posted in Diversity, Reliable Membership, Safety and Trust | Tagged dialogue, essay, fault, feelings, make sense, need for connection, point of view, pulling, safety, share, trust | 36 Replies

Goals of Talking

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on July 10, 2008 by Al TurtleMay 17, 2012  

The Goal Of Communication in Relationships is that both persons feel understood frequently, and always when the subject is important to one or the other.
(I wrote this some years ago. See how all the ideas on my website are worked into it.)

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Posted in Communication, Reliable Membership | Tagged fault, make sense, pulling, validation | Leave a reply

Peaceful Vacation Scheme

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on May 6, 2008 by Al TurtleFebruary 10, 2019 2

Here we are, about to head off on another vacation, and I promised that I would write down how we manage keeping it so much fun.

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Posted in Diversity, Main Page, Reliable Membership, Skills | Tagged dialogue, Imago, mirroring, pulling, share | 2 Replies

Passivity: In the foundations

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on May 4, 2008 by Al TurtleAugust 20, 2019 13

If you have been following my work through Part One: Master/Slave and Part Two: Power of Passivity, then this may be your next stop. I decided to share my path down a bit deeper into the basement. Be warned! The steps down here may be tippy.

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Posted in Autonomy, Reliable Membership | Tagged codependency, codependent, dialogue, feelings, master-slave, mastertalk, passivity, safety, share, trust | 13 Replies

Feelings and Emotions: The Essay, Part Four, Appropriate Expression

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on January 22, 2008 by Al TurtleOctober 17, 2017 6

This is the last part of my essay on Feelings and Emotions. I am going to be speaking about “expression.” Now, lack of emotional expression, I believe, causes huge confusion in relationships and and will shorten your life. But, incorrect expression causes lots and lots of trouble, too. My goal is to focus on what I call “Appropriate Expression.” Many groups and cultures have strong rules about the “correct” way to express or hold in emotions. What I am going to write may seem to go against many of those rules – may seem critical of them. I do not choose to set myself up in that judgmental position. I simply want to share what I have learned.

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Posted in Diversity, Feelings and Emotions, Reliable Membership | Tagged dialogue, essay, fault, feelings, make sense, master-slave, mastertalk, mirroring, passivity, pulling, safety, share, trust, validation | 6 Replies

Getting an Answer: When He/She Won’t Make a Decision

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on November 26, 2007 by Al TurtleSeptember 25, 2012 21

A recent letter sparked me to thinking about how I handle this tough situation. I have been using this all purpose skill for a dozen years, recommending it to my clients. Some use it. Some don’t. Sometimes it makes things “better.” Sometimes it seems to make things “worse.” Life is like that. Take a-look.

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Posted in Main Page, Map of Relationships, Reliable Membership, Solving Problems | Tagged affair, feelings, trust, university of life | 21 Replies

Skindiving Mistakes: Depending Too Much on Him/Her

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on November 22, 2007 by Al TurtleOctober 30, 2012  

This is part of the set of problems I’ve found in connecting reliably to another person. In it I am looking mostly at the situation from the point of view of the clinging or more needy partner. Heck, that was me. And it is a bit of history. I wrote this about 8 years ago as I was figuring out the problem of, and solution to, Reliable Membership.

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Posted in Reliable Membership | Tagged feelings, point of view, trust | Leave a reply

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