It started with the word “Resentment”

Hi Al,

I stumbled upon you site after googling resentment! After years of an emotional roller coaster marriage…things are finally making sense!

About a week ago, my husband realized he was resenting me…and has been for about 11 1/2 years. WOW. It hurt to hear, and I was angry and didn't know what to do, and how to even begin to cope!

It was a HUGE step for him to admit to any emotion, so that had me holding on. I showed him your website, and it was as if he lit up! Light bulbs were turning on left and right. And for me too! Because I always thought he was the one with the problem 🙂 Ooopppss!!

Turns out, he is an avoider…I am a clinger. And we have always felt ashamed about this. I felt weak for feeling this way, and he felt a little unstable. Ever thought about that?…The shame part?

Any who, thank you for helping us! I feel like I can cope with life now! I have never felt that way (34 years old), and I was starting to feel like that was just life. He is grasping everything much faster than I am. But – I will get it! We took a time out for a week, and now he is back home. And I am giving him his space because I understand that it has nothing to do with me, he just needs that…and he is understanding how I feel about the clinging…ahhh to be understood!

We are going to therapy on Friday, we are really nervous. By the way, I made the appointment (ha ha). I feel like we already have the tools & the willingness to work on this together, and I feel like we really do not need it. But I suppose every person feels like that, it is kind-of like when you are debating on whether you need to go to the emergency room….if you have to wonder, you probably need to go!!

Wish you were in Georgia!!

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom

My Essays, Articles and Discussions

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