An open letter (probably with lots of typos) that I wrote to any and all Imago Therapists during my vacation in the mountains in early September 2005. In it I pose an important question. Is what I am doing "Imago?"
Continue reading →I really like being efficient. Doing something over and over that doesn?t work seems an utter waste to me. Thus Behavior Change Requests (BCRs) are for me wonderful. How many times have I asked myself, ?Specifically, what can I do to make things better?? and gotten no answer. I used to think on my gravestone they would write, ?He tried.? Now, I think they might write, ?He did it.? I love finding out WHAT WORKS! (This article is part of the Healing Frustrations paper.)
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I believe that Frustrations are the critical element to making progress in a Relationship. Healing Frustrations is the key. I call it the ?ratchet? process because , like a ratchet wrench, it makes things move forward and you can?t back up. The following essay contains what I see as the background for dealing with frustrations. It clears up a lot of misunderstandings and can help you stop wasting time and energy in doing things that do not work.
This is a chart that goes with the Healing Frustrations essay. I share this with anyone in a group or in my office who is trying to understand how to approach Frustrations.
Continue reading →I think the continuing great need in our culture and in our families is to become more aware of what is going on so that we can make better and better choices. As a person who has worked with thousands of couples, I have heard a lot. I have become familiar with lots of patterns. I have become aware of things that most people don�t seem to want to look at.
Continue reading →Sometimes people get the impression that I want all bullies to go away. But I really think they are valuable. Where would we all be without them? Now, what am I talking about!?
Continue reading →When we listen, do we understand? When we speak, do we get to feel understood? The skills of understanding, making a person feel understood, and speaking so that someone can understand you, are very important. In this article I hope to be able to explain about this and start you on your way. Seek to become an expert. I think this is really worth the investment.
Continue reading →Until I write my thoughts on this, here are some references. One of the clearest sources for this material is the writings and speeches of Malidoma Patrice Somé. By being raised in an indigenous culture and by being educated in … Continue reading →
I was asked recently what are the steps to follow, practically, when you see your partner backing away from you even in everyday situations. I think the person was simultaneously looking for specific things to do and trying to head off trouble.
Continue reading →Probably about 70% of couples I see have a significant problem with controlling. What is this? How does it work? What can you do about it? In this article I will try to answer those questions and share solutions with you.
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