People use the phrase �I don�t know� so often that I finally shared an alternative. We don�t live life based on what we know. I think often we know very little, but that doesn�t stop us from going on. Why should it stop conversation?
Continue reading →I learn a lot from the men in my mens group. We talk of safety and validation all the time. Here is a story about wasting your energy on the wrong stuff – loving in a way that doesn't work.
Continue reading →A TimeOut is a relational tool and is an essential skill for any intimate relationship. Its purpose is to remove pressure from the relationship. Use a TimeOut whenever you feel overwhelmed, pressed, chased, pursued, cornered, etc.
Continue reading →Several years ago, I was asked during a class, “How do you know that you have a great relationship?” I found myself mentioning four attributes – one was “excellent boundaries.” Someone then asked, “How would you recognize excellent boundaries? What are their indicators?” I thought about that for several weeks. I came up with a list. I have found this list quite provocative.
Continue reading →I want share my beliefs that being “dialogical” very much involves choices of what to share, when to share it, and acute clarity about boundaries. One choice is the “to share or not to share” choice. Another is the “when to share and when not to share” choice. And another is the “how to share” choice.
Continue reading →This is a way of scoring to see if you were experiencing dialogue or just normal chaotic conversation.
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This is my paper on Boundaries for Individuals. This is everything I think a person needs to know about setting up and maintaining their differences when someone else is around. It contains all my thinking on personal boundaries. Enjoy.
Summary: This paper covers the two ways that people can come together and share (or not) their different views of reality. Relating via Master/Slave is only functional in certain situations: where efficiency is needed as in business, where property ownership is involved, in emergencies. Relating via Friend/Friend is normal during courtship. Master/Slave, commonly used in intimate relationships or families, is dysfunctional. Learn the critical skills of Friend/Friend to end argument and prevent fighting. This is the first of three parts on Autonomy.
The chart that goes with the Master/Slave paper.
Continue reading →From the point of view of relationships, I think this “the disease of the disease”, the source behind so much trouble. Most everyone in our country suffers from this disease. And it is even taught on TV. I believe this is the source of MasterTalk.
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