How to approach relationship challenges? Tis all about applying knowledge of the Biological Dream and learning those skills. Tis all about knowing where you currently are on the Map of Relationships. Here are some examples.
Continue reading →FOR INSPIRATION, TRY THIS! This sort of thing doesn't come often to an old therapist, but it is welcome. Here's an ex-client who, I think, got it. “You can either be in Relationship or Right. You can either Validate or be Right. You can either be Empathic or be Right. Take your pick.” Thanks to you, friend.
Continue reading →For years I have been teaching and “thinking” about Feelings. I have been teaching what I call , the Four Prime Feelings for years: Fear, Anger, Sorrow, and Joy. But more and more I have become aware of a set of feelings that are very important and which are not usually called emotions. I think they are.
Continue reading →People still ask me, How much should I tell my partner? This paper and chart have had quite an impact on people. In some cases it has been "life changing" after one reading. That has surprised and pleased me.
Continue reading →I got this question, recently. Apparently in my Map of Relationships I have not described it enough. I guess I just referred to it as a "place" that people, all people want to go to. Well, ok, I'll share some thoughts on it.
Continue reading →So many times I've heard the phrase, "he/she did that out of the blue." I love the phrase. It seems so colorful. And also many people write me, and read my thoughts, about what to do when he/she leaves. Put these two issues together and I give you this article.
Continue reading →The Goal Of Communication in Relationships is that both persons feel understood frequently, and always when the subject is important to one or the other.
(I wrote this some years ago. See how all the ideas on my website are worked into it.)
Here's a letter by another clinger (Bless her and all the clingers out there), about learning from my website and applying what she has learned. Wow, working on yourself can be really eventful!
Continue reading →This is the story of a woman who believes her partner is leaving, and doesn't want him to. She kinda followed him across the country, but managed to keep learning the lesson, “Work on your self, visibly.” She's good, but learning is not easy! (Names have been changed)
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This is the last part of my essay on Feelings and Emotions. I am going to be speaking about “expression.” Now, lack of emotional expression, I believe, causes huge confusion in relationships and and will shorten your life. But, incorrect expression causes lots and lots of trouble, too. My goal is to focus on what I call “Appropriate Expression.” Many groups and cultures have strong rules about the “correct” way to express or hold in emotions. What I am going to write may seem to go against many of those rules – may seem critical of them. I do not choose to set myself up in that judgmental position. I simply want to share what I have learned.