People still ask me, How much should I tell my partner? This paper and chart have had quite an impact on people. In some cases it has been "life changing" after one reading. That has surprised and pleased me.
Continue reading →I got this question, recently. Apparently in my Map of Relationships I have not described it enough. I guess I just referred to it as a "place" that people, all people want to go to. Well, ok, I'll share some thoughts on it.
Continue reading →So many times I've heard the phrase, "he/she did that out of the blue." I love the phrase. It seems so colorful. And also many people write me, and read my thoughts, about what to do when he/she leaves. Put these two issues together and I give you this article.
Continue reading →Recently I gave a 3–hour presentation at a conference on Domestic Violence. The title was "Remediating Bullies and Their Makers: A different look at Domestic Violence." Here is the background and one of the Powerpoint presentations.
Continue reading →When someone says, “I’m hurt” or “That upsets me,” or “I'm anxious,” what is a useful response? I find this is a central problem in the common co-dependency I see. Here are some ideas and links to deeper understanding.
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The first most important skill in any relationship is about how to create a tone of safety – how to reliably lower each other's blood pressure. This paper is the background.
I believe that everyone needs a three-drawer tool box. Each drawer represents different tools or skills needed in life.
Continue reading →“So, why are you voting for Obama,” I get asked this a lot. It has come up for several months, since I decided to share my preference in this fall’s election. These are my thoughts. They belong to me and yours should differ. If you don't like politics, skip this altogether.
Continue reading →Here's a letter by another clinger (Bless her and all the clingers out there), about learning from my website and applying what she has learned. Wow, working on yourself can be really eventful!
Continue reading →This is the story of a woman who believes her partner is leaving, and doesn't want him to. She kinda followed him across the country, but managed to keep learning the lesson, “Work on your self, visibly.” She's good, but learning is not easy! (Names have been changed)
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