Been thinking of this for some time. I keep finding that sometimes being Rebellious is the way to go. Sometimes Stubbornness is wonderful. Even sometimes Passivity is a jewel. But when? I've never shared my enthusiasm about rebelling and being stubborn, and I fear I have given passivity a "bad rap." Enjoy!
Continue reading →This is my response to a great set of questions posted on my article on the Problem with Expectations. But it covers so much territory, I decided to repond with an article. My thanks to the Poster.
Continue reading →My gosh, people get this simple issue so confused. It isn’t all that difficult. Here’s my poster on it.
In …
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This is a paper about the problem of "victimicity." It is Part 2 of my work on Master/Slave and Autonomy. You may want to read it with some caution, particularly because, based on feedback, this seems to be almost "graduate level" relationship material. It seems you really must be prepared to read it. Please be patient with me, and with yourselves. More material was added 7/5/07. I am sure there will still be minor changes and additions – and one last bit.
I have been using the terms “Master” and “Slave” for quite some time and have not ever found any terms that are more useful in dealing with the problems of Autonomy. However, over the years my usage has stirred up some controversy and even distress in people. At this point I have no plans to change my terms. At the same time I thought I would share a bit about the wonderful controversies.
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This is an often requested list of brief definitions of my words. From time to time I will add to this list. Insert these words in the Search function on the front page of my website to see the articles where I use these terms.
Continue reading →This is the script of a DVD of the full form of the Map of Relationships. Part III of the Map of Relationships. Compares Romantic Love and Vintage Love. Romantic Love always, always always ends. It has to. Anyone who says it doesn't might be selling snake oil.
Continue reading →An open letter (probably with lots of typos) that I wrote to any and all Imago Therapists during my vacation in the mountains in early September 2005. In it I pose an important question. Is what I am doing "Imago?"
Continue reading →I really like being efficient. Doing something over and over that doesn?t work seems an utter waste to me. Thus Behavior Change Requests (BCRs) are for me wonderful. How many times have I asked myself, ?Specifically, what can I do to make things better?? and gotten no answer. I used to think on my gravestone they would write, ?He tried.? Now, I think they might write, ?He did it.? I love finding out WHAT WORKS! (This article is part of the Healing Frustrations paper.)
Continue reading →I am presenting this paper as a discussion of dialogue norms to use in Power Differential Relationships. My goal is to re-approach One-up/One-down situations from the relational model, the dialogical model that is central to Imago Relationship theory and practice.
The paper is divided into three sections:
1. Types of Power Differential Situations
2. Decision Making as the legitimate reason for Power Differential Situations
3. The Four Challenges facing groups trying to make decisions.