Tag Archives: dialogue

Histories: She/He has left. Now what?

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on by 1

This is so common. Oh, I feel sorry for everyone involved. I think I have seen this situation 6 times this month. A person calls in, ?their whole life has changed?, ?their dreams are shattered?, and ?they don?t know what to do.? Their partner of 5 years, 14 years, 33 years, has announced they are leaving, or they have packed up and gone, or they have found someone new and now want to cut the ties with their ?older? partner. The person calling feels surprised, betrayed and hurt. What to do?

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Reality; Taking Sides; Picking a Marriage Therapist

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on by 1

Last week, a new couple came to me after 21 years of marriage, 21 years of arguing, and four attempts to find help from Marriage TherapistS. As I started to work with them, I found once more that they have not heard about Master/Slave nor about Differentiation – critical skills for living together. And apparently the therapists that they had seen didn't know these skills either.

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Feelings and Emotions: The Essay, Part Three, Energetics, The Flow of Feelings & Depression

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on by 9

I am now going to shift directions. The following essay arises out of years of studying Wilhelm Reich,MD and his followers, the general field of body therapy and the specifics of what is often called Energetics. To me, this is the study of energy – human energy. As I refer to energy, I am talking about that which makes us go and that which we lose when we die. It is very much a body-thing.

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To Imago Therapists

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on by 3

An open letter (probably with lots of typos) that I wrote to any and all Imago Therapists during my vacation in the mountains in early September 2005. In it I pose an important question. Is what I am doing "Imago?"

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Behavior Change Requests (BCRs)

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I really like being efficient. Doing something over and over that doesn?t work seems an utter waste to me. Thus Behavior Change Requests (BCRs) are for me wonderful. How many times have I asked myself, ?Specifically, what can I do to make things better?? and gotten no answer. I used to think on my gravestone they would write, ?He tried.? Now, I think they might write, ?He did it.? I love finding out WHAT WORKS! (This article is part of the Healing Frustrations paper.)

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Healing Frustrations: The Essay

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I believe that Frustrations are the critical element to making progress in a Relationship. Healing Frustrations is the key. I call it the ?ratchet? process because , like a ratchet wrench, it makes things move forward and you can?t back up. The following essay contains what I see as the background for dealing with frustrations. It clears up a lot of misunderstandings and can help you stop wasting time and energy in doing things that do not work.

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Validation: The Skill and the Art

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When we listen, do we understand? When we speak, do we get to feel understood? The skills of understanding, making a person feel understood, and speaking so that someone can understand you, are very important. In this article I hope to be able to explain about this and start you on your way. Seek to become an expert. I think this is really worth the investment.

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