Probably about 70% of couples I see have a significant problem with controlling. What is this? How does it work? What can you do about it? In this article I will try to answer those questions and share solutions with you.
Continue reading →Stop the Divorce: Now I am not saying that you are thinking the wrong thing. In fact, I am glad you are considering divorce. I don't think you would be thinking of this, if things were going well. I tend to believe you are thinking divorce as a last and worst choice.
Continue reading →I am presenting this paper as a discussion of dialogue norms to use in Power Differential Relationships. My goal is to re-approach One-up/One-down situations from the relational model, the dialogical model that is central to Imago Relationship theory and practice.
The paper is divided into three sections:
1. Types of Power Differential Situations
2. Decision Making as the legitimate reason for Power Differential Situations
3. The Four Challenges facing groups trying to make decisions.
Look, domestic violence is nothing more that the behavior of a bully or bullies who grew up learning that tantrums get you what you want. It is nothing more than the action of a person who is “in control,” doing what they were taught, over and over as they grew up. And it is a hard habit or learning to stop – just like any other habit that works sometimes. It will taper off or stop when that behavior clearly no longer works.
Continue reading →Relationship Help!: I've never met anyone whose intimate relationship couldn't use some help. We don't know how to solve everything. If our parents had trouble, they didn't know how to solve everything and thus they couldn't teach us.
At some point, each of us run up against problems that we don't have the tools to solve.
Marriage Help!: I've never met anyone whose marriage couldn't use some help. We don't know how to solve everything. If our parents had trouble, they didn't know how to solve everything and thus they couldn't teach us. As some point each of us run up against problems that we don't have the tools to solve. The wise thing to do at that point is to learn. Start to study. Look for people who have solved that trouble. Try new things. Read books. Get help. And don't wait. Most couples that come to me seem to wait until the very last moment.
Continue reading →Hey, I know you can see things that your partner could improve. The longer you live with someone, the more you can see their potential – which is the flip side of saying “their shortcomings.”
The question is, what do you do with this information?
Learn Good Communication: It is not that hard, but it does take training. Communication is a skill. If you don't have good communication, it just means you had poor training. Good communication comes naturally to those who were taught good communication as children. It is never to late to learn. If poor communications is your problem, fix it. Learn. I did.
Continue reading →Better Marriages: I believe this is your right, and you are designed for it. And I believe it is very possible. It just takes effort. This site is dedicated to sharing with you what I believe you need to do to make this happen. Thank you for visiting, and enjoy.
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Even as I began to understand about boundaries for individuals, I was still stunned by what wildness happens in a committed couple. People keep telling me that they can get along with anyone except their partner at home. I frequently watch professionally competent couples act like little, tantrum-throwing, children in my office. What are the boundary issues that make the experiences of couples, or an intimate relationships, so powerful? This paper covers what I have learned going on.