Problem Solving for Couples: The Essay

Everyone has problems. Problems are situations that cause you distress – frustration. I think a problem is avoided when you do not experience the situation any more. I believe a problem is solved when the situation occurs, and you no longer get upset or frustrated. A couple will have between them almost twice as many problems as an individual. I guess you might as well learn how to solve problems. Get going.

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Excellent Boundaries

Several years ago, I was asked during a class, “How do you know that you have a great relationship?” I found myself mentioning four attributes – one was “excellent boundaries.” Someone then asked, “How would you recognize excellent boundaries? What are their indicators?” I thought about that for several weeks. I came up with a list. I have found this list quite provocative.

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Being Dialogical: Sharing

I want share my beliefs that being “dialogical” very much involves choices of what to share, when to share it, and acute clarity about boundaries. One choice is the “to share or not to share” choice. Another is the “when to share and when not to share” choice. And another is the “how to share” choice.

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MASTER/SLAVE, Two World Problem: The Essay

Summary: This paper covers the two ways that people can come together and share (or not) their different views of reality. Relating via Master/Slave is only functional in certain situations: where efficiency is needed as in business, where property ownership is involved, in emergencies. Relating via Friend/Friend is normal during courtship. Master/Slave, commonly used in intimate relationships or families, is dysfunctional. Learn the critical skills of Friend/Friend to end argument and prevent fighting.  This is the first of three parts on Autonomy. 

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Diversity and PreValidation: The Essay

This is the lesson I teach every person I see. This is critical information for people who are puzzled, bothered, or upset when they find they disagree or that others disagree with them.

Icebergs - Two people

These concepts are vital to the practice of Dialogue and Communologue.

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