This is a paper about the problem of "victimicity." It is Part 2 of my work on Master/Slave and Autonomy. You may want to read it with some caution, particularly because, based on feedback, this seems to be almost "graduate level" relationship material. It seems you really must be prepared to read it. Please be patient with me, and with yourselves. More material was added 7/5/07. I am sure there will still be minor changes and additions – and one last bit.
This is a writeup of an application of Communologue in a project that I completed 2003-2004.
Continue reading →This is a technique I use in the office when people are very reactive about an incident. I use it often. I have noticed that I refer to it in one of my most popular articles – on Resentments. Yet, nowhere have I written up how to do it. So, here goes.
Continue reading →I have been using the terms “Master” and “Slave” for quite some time and have not ever found any terms that are more useful in dealing with the problems of Autonomy. However, over the years my usage has stirred up some controversy and even distress in people. At this point I have no plans to change my terms. At the same time I thought I would share a bit about the wonderful controversies.
Continue reading →A conversation with a relationship therapist about avoiding becoming a Bully.
Continue reading →Use this process when you want to apologize for something you have done. Its a way to say "I'm sorry" that works.
Continue reading →By Donald L. Gibbon. Northern Idaho sounds like it should be about as far away from 21st century social ills as you could get and still have access to modern America’s social benefits. Coeur d’Alene, known to demographers and government bureaucrats as CdA, has a population of only about 35,000, but it’s still the largest town in the state north of Boise, some 460 long miles to the south.
Continue reading →A list of interventions that can be used to create and maintain a dialogical group atmosphere. A new guideline added on Nov 27, '07.
Continue reading →This is a beginner, Validation exercise. You are Uninformed at that point when you think your partner is doing something odd or that “doesn’t make sense to you.” If you were informed, you wouldn’t think it odd, and you would see your partner’s sense. Use this practice sheet to get good at Validating.
Continue reading →Notes for a Class on Guiding Dialogue
Continue reading →