Frustrations: A Chart
This is a chart that goes with the Healing Frustrations essay. I share this with anyone in a group or in my office who is trying to understand how to approach Frustrations.
Continue reading →Category Archives: Relationships
Story: SeaPeople and Their Ships
A story I wrote ten years ago about raising children and the responsibility for doing a good job. I believe parents do their best, and frequently their best is not very good.
Continue reading →I think we'd better look into the factories.
I think the continuing great need in our culture and in our families is to become more aware of what is going on so that we can make better and better choices. As a person who has worked with thousands of couples, I have heard a lot. I have become familiar with lots of patterns. I have become aware of things that most people don�t seem to want to look at.
Continue reading →Thank Heavens for Bullies. We need them.
Sometimes people get the impression that I want all bullies to go away. But I really think they are valuable. Where would we all be without them? Now, what am I talking about!?
Continue reading →Story: Stripey, Helping other people relax.
A particular puzzle is how to relax other people when they get tense. This true story of an old cat may help – in a kind of backwards way.
Continue reading →Validation: The Skill and the Art
When we listen, do we understand? When we speak, do we get to feel understood? The skills of understanding, making a person feel understood, and speaking so that someone can understand you, are very important. In this article I hope to be able to explain about this and start you on your way. Seek to become an expert. I think this is really worth the investment.
Continue reading →Purpose, Meaning. Why we are alive.
Until I write my thoughts on this, here are some references. One of the clearest sources for this material is the writings and speeches of Malidoma Patrice Somé. By being raised in an indigenous culture and by being educated in … Continue reading →
Becoming a Source of Safety: Practical Steps
I was asked recently what are the steps to follow, practically, when you see your partner backing away from you even in everyday situations. I think the person was simultaneously looking for specific things to do and trying to head off trouble.
Continue reading →Are You a Controller? Sure you are.
Probably about 70% of couples I see have a significant problem with controlling. What is this? How does it work? What can you do about it? In this article I will try to answer those questions and share solutions with you.
Continue reading →It only takes ONE to make a marriage, but TWO to make a divorce.
After many years of working with couples, I have come to this conclusion. Marriage, or an intimate partnership, takes two people. It takes both to decide to divorce and carry it through. But it takes only one of them to lead the way into a great relationship.
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