An open letter (probably with lots of typos) that I wrote to any and all Imago Therapists during my vacation in the mountains in early September 2005. In it I pose an important question. Is what I am doing "Imago?"
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This paper discusses the issue of Resentment that from time to time becomes an important issue in couples or between groups of people. It includes suggestions on how to remove the resentment. I believe this cannot be done, passively, by waiting. Resentment does not seem to go away by letting time pass. I believe resentment only goes away via the use of validation, and dialogue.
Working for the long haul. Let's say you two make it through learning the skills critical to "getting along." Now what? Here's the view after you get over that first hump.
Continue reading →I really like being efficient. Doing something over and over that doesn?t work seems an utter waste to me. Thus Behavior Change Requests (BCRs) are for me wonderful. How many times have I asked myself, ?Specifically, what can I do to make things better?? and gotten no answer. I used to think on my gravestone they would write, ?He tried.? Now, I think they might write, ?He did it.? I love finding out WHAT WORKS! (This article is part of the Healing Frustrations paper.)
Continue reading →Even as I began to understand about boundaries for individuals, I was still stunned by what wildness happens in a committed couple. People keep telling me that they can get along with anyone except their partner at home. I frequently watch professionally competent couples act like little, tantrum-throwing, children in my office. What are the boundary issues that make the experiences of couples, or an intimate relationships, so powerful? This paper covers what I have learned going on.