HomeMain PageRelationshipsSkillsAutonomyMASTER/SLAVE, Two World Problem: The Essay

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MASTER/SLAVE, Two World Problem: The Essay — 19 Comments

  1. Well, Johnny, I don't think what you are describing is even close to what I am referring to with the term “Passive Master.” Clonazepam seems a pretty powerful medication, used with a purpose. Cutting yourself off of that drug can have some pretty tough consequences. But on the other hand using that drug has tough consequences.
    I do think that life is a long series of “awakenings” from things we have been doing and now we discover we don't need them any more. Glad you are rethinking the friends, even the professionals you have relied upon in the past. Sometimes my rethinkings have completely change my choices and sometimes my choices have been re-affirmed. Tis a journey for me and for you, I gather.
    For more on Passive Masters, you may want to read the follow-on papers – The Power of Passivity is good.
    But, based on your experiences with benzodiazepines (and 10 years of taking them sounds as if some people were pretty serious about something), I would suggest you spend time with Safety and The Lizard as those drugs are most commonly used of issues of anxiety and that paper is my preferred reference for understanding problems of fear, anxiety, and tension.
    Also, if you doubt the advice of this particular professional, I would encourage you to find a similarly or even better trained professional whom you can trust, and add their advice to your future plans. A second opinion is always a good idea.
    Please take care of yourself.
    Good luck.

  2. Dear Al,
    I have a question regarding your example of “a Passive Master is those people who smoke cigarettes and sue tobacco companies.”
    What is your opinion of kids, teenagers and young adults who have been advised under parental or doctor influence to use benzodiazepines? I was on clonazepam for about ten years, and I didn't think much of it, I thought it was the norm to be on medications for anxiety. I just learned on my own (and through the help of a friend who is going to pharm school) about the harmful long-term effects of taking such a drug. I asked my prescribing psychologist about why I was encouraged to keep on taking it, and his suggestion was that I was exercising a risk/benefit scenario.
    I'm not sure what to think, because I think I willingly ingested those drugs… but I don't think I was properly informed by him or anyone else about the dangers of it. After discovering your papers, I got so frustrated with him that I cut off contact. It seemed to me that his livelihood depended on him prescribing drugs to people, which conflicted with my interest in getting healthier ie. not on drugs. Where does his responsibility lie? I'm guessing it goes further up, to the drug companies.
    Do people like me have a fair argument about possibly being misled, or am I just in denial about being a passive master? I think I'm frustrated because I was told by him that I had a chemical imbalance in my brain, and that drugs would help fix it. Now I feel like I created a chemical imbalance by being on clonazepam for ten years, and now going off it. Withdrawal effects that I still struggle with: attention deficit, moderate to extreme tension, memory loss, etc.
    Any thoughts of yours would be awesome, thank you!
    Sincerely,
    Johnny

  3. Yup. Seen it. Done it. Tis a situation where both want a solution, but both are using only the tools of Master or Slave or Passive Master – which will never work. Go for it.
    The solution is to move yourself to Friend-Friend and stay there not matter where your partner goes. Doing this “forces” them to join you.
    Most people don't know much about Friend-Friend, have not seen it often, and have yet to learn its tools.
    First step you've already take – becoming aware. Next step is to finish those three papers (Master/Slave, Power of Passivity, Passivity in the Foundations), extract the skills of Friend-Friend, and practice them till they become automatic.
    One hint is that the solution is not in Master or Slave at all. I think if you are in the Slave position, you are a bit more responsible for the mess than your partner. Just a bit. The good news is that you have the ability to stop it.

  4. I am in a master/slave relationship with my girlfriend, I am the slave. I exhibit passive-aggressive behaviour toward her that will immediately result in her bringing out the punishment system – which usually means insulting me, threatening to break up or simply not talking to me. Lately she has been threatening to leave saying she is depressed and unhappy. It seems impossible to communicate with her because of her punishment system. A master/slave situation will arise once every few days, and usually ends in at least 24 hours of fighting. The longer the relationship goes on, the more frequent these situations have become and the less time we have spent being happy.
    Is there any hope to change a master/slave relationship with these dynamics into a friend-friend relationship? How would one go about that? I think I too am guilty of trying to assume the master position. I have had it before in our relationship and I did not enjoy that. I love her and don't want a part of this master-slave situation.

  5. Hi Al,
    After digging deeper into the topic of Master and Slave communication, I think that I am slowly to see the meaning between the two, inMaster Slave communication Where the message is usually sent as one-way communication between the sender and the receiver and there is an absence of feedback as opposed to the two way communication (Friend to Friend) where it requires constant feedback, awareness and constant adjustment between the parties involved. It also starting to make sense why you've always suggested to use a medium in which the feedback from the sender can be seen or heard spontaneuosly. The depictions of the iceberg on your site which explains the level of information one transmits and receives is similar to a scholar model which is known as Johari Window.
    This is just my two cents worth which probably wont be useful to some ;), and I think that it is also open to translations or opinions 🙂
    Confused

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