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Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom

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Resentments: Getting Rid of Them

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on March 17, 2005 by Al TurtleAugust 8, 2013 21

This paper discusses the issue of Resentment that from time to time becomes an important issue in couples or between groups of people. It includes suggestions on how to remove the resentment. I believe this cannot be done, passively, by waiting. Resentment does not seem to go away by letting time pass. I believe resentment only goes away via the use of validation, and dialogue.

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Posted in Diversity, Healing the Past, Reliable Membership, Solving Problems | Tagged boundary, dialogue, fault, feelings, Imago, mirroring, passivity, pulling, safety, share, trust, validation | 21 Replies

Diversity and PreValidation: A Chart

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on March 16, 2005 by Al TurtleJune 16, 2019 1

To really grasp Diversity, I think people need to have an image, a model, that makes sense of Understanding and Validation. I have used this model for three years and it works. It defines “making sense”, “understanding”, “validation” and that most valuable of skills, “PreValidation”.

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Posted in Diversity | 1 Reply

Peace Building: A Chart

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on March 15, 2005 by Al TurtleJune 16, 2019  

The choices that two or more people have when they come together. Based on the experience of lots and lots of couples who have learned, what the average citizen hasn't, that arguing doesn't work.

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Posted in Peace Building | Tagged peace | Leave a reply

Story: The Water Buffalo

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on March 15, 2005 by Al TurtleSeptember 25, 2012  

This story is about hopeless habit of pointing fingers at the action or the one who “angers you.” I call it “Where to focus when you are upset.”

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Posted in Stories | Tagged Imago | Leave a reply

Story: Setting the Cat Down

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on March 15, 2005 by Al TurtleJune 27, 2012 2

This is a story about the lessons of speaking up too fast. I call it “What to do if you interrupt someone?”

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Posted in Stories | Tagged pulling | 2 Replies

Story: The Troubles with a Short Temper

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on March 15, 2005 by Al TurtleFebruary 8, 2019  

I tell this story , as a gift from my friend Jack, to anyone I meet who has a short temper or who is around someone with a short temper.

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Posted in Stories | Tagged feelings, master-slave, safety | Leave a reply

Story: Loading the Horse

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on March 15, 2005 by Al TurtleFebruary 8, 2019 4

Persuading someone is quite a skill. I am not talking about manipulation. Here I am speaking of how to get someone to do what you want – openly and honestly.

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Posted in Stories | 4 Replies

Story: The Old Dog

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on March 15, 2005 by Al TurtleFebruary 8, 2019  

This seems to me the story of just about every addictive behavior I can think of. The person complaining is the one who's got to do something. Responsibility rests in the complainer.

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Story: Who can Tell? Good or Bad Luck

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on March 15, 2005 by Al TurtleMay 17, 2012 1

In Taoist perspective even good and evil lose their absolute character. I share this with people who firmly believe their point of view is the right one.

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Posted in Stories | Tagged safety | 1 Reply

Mirroring: The Skill

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on March 14, 2005 by Al TurtleJuly 15, 2012 2

This is the training tool for communication. It's purpose is to train people in the 52 distinct skills necessary for making speakers feel heard and making listeners relaxed while listening to anything.

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Posted in Communication | Tagged dialogue, feelings, master-slave, mastertalk, mirroring, pulling, validation | 2 Replies

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