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The Biological Dream: An Excerpt — 3 Comments

  1. Dear Friend, It has been almost 10 years since I “finally arrived” at the model I call the Biological Dream. Since that time 100s of people have reflected back to me how valuable this simple image is. I like the way you speak of it as lovingly looking at “falling in love.”
    I think it also allows me to lovingly look at “fighting couples,” “couples in affairs,” and even “divorcing couples.” But that is about couples.
    Outside of couple's relationships I certainly see the Biological Dream in children: both in their wishes and in their struggles with their caretakers.
    And, I find the same effect frequently in “non-romantic” relationships. Consider student-teacher, client-therapist, and in politics, etc.
    I even see it as a factor in the (worldwide) phenomena around the most recent US election. I think Obama stirs up these feelings often, partially as he so often speaks using language that is consistent with the Biological Dream and partially as he represents such a contrast with previous totalitarian (anti-Biological Dream)language.
    Anyway, I am glad you enjoy this view of people. Thanks for your note.

  2. Reading this again, finding it clarifying in such a way it makes me happy. Because in this I see the possibility of “falling in love” as something with a potential to not be strictly confined to man-woman relations. Common manners to think confines it culturally to the romantic relation man-woman, sexualising “falling in love”, to my mind. I think of the young person's romantic feelings for a teacher, f.ex (a case of active Biological Dream?). I think of those who nurture the BD in relation to native cultures (as I've done). I think of all kinds of “impossible” passion and desire to unite, which only becomes “impossible” if thinking it to be “romantic love” that should lead to marriage or else be struggled against at all costs. How many activated cases of BD isn't surpressed and rejected due to not understanding it in a BD perspective? And how many activated cases of BD doesn't become a total disaster due to the idea that marriage should be based on romatic love and that romantic love therefore must lead to marriage?
    I love this your perspective that in my eyes truly opens up to the healing influence of love, a love that implies a looking with love on “falling in love” in a seing it as something potentially healing that can be triggered within us (but healing only in so far that we also handle it with wisdom). A healing power within us, just as C.G. Jung also tried to outline his impression of the phenomenon in his work.
    Hope I'm reflecting the meanings you're trying to outline in a recognision you feel fine with.

  3. A-MAZ-ING. amazing.
    I am strongly pursuing the biological dream for myself and my son. My husband wants little to do with it … I think. He acts like he wants nothing to do with it, and he SAYS he wants nothing to do with it, but then he has changed most things that I have asked (demanded) him to – to the best of his ability (no yelling at our son, quit arguing with me, our son needs more autonomy, and I want to homeschool).
    I love your articles Al (and I would love to edit them 🙂 some of them really need it ).
    So, I have read that you believe police and military have the worst chance of fulfilling the BD – and I instinctively can guess why. He is police and was military, but then so was I – and I have fully realized my desire for it … so how do I get him on board? What is my best chance?

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