Favorite Which Essays are Popular? (Updated April 8, 2018)


Still going up, gotta change directions.

People are taking the time to read, download, and hand out my articles – over 134,000 readers in the past year. This is pretty powerful stuff, and I am very gratified that so many are valuing it. My deep goal is, of course, to get to the children. "Happier couples raise healthier kids." And this advice works with any kind of relationship. With your help the world is a little better, a little more connected, than when we found it. Thanks.

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I hope you are looking for love, a great relationship for yourself, and maybe eventually a durable marriage, or even just the skills to get along well with anyone, and ways to make the world a better place.  If you have, I’ve got lots of ideas to share with you. This page is one of the hubs from which to start your studies. There are several hundred articles on this site, and they ARE organized.  But people who come here are not so organized.  They often want just one answer to one question.  Well, some sample questions are below.  Some answers are in a fun article called Using My Logic. You can search for words or phrases in your question.  Google and other Search Engines seem to like me.  So try a search for “Al Turtle frustration” (your word or phrase) and see what happens.  Or maybe you want to have my view of Where to Start.  In any case, click on How to Use this Website to see the general structure and to start finding your way around.  Here are some specific topics:

Peace Building: The Essay

When two people come together, they have a choice: to move toward Peace or to move toward War. The choices and the actions/habits that go with them are clear when one studies couples who are successful at bringing lasting Peace and those who are not.  (Sadly, most people I meet chose war!) What do you chose?  Here's my essay on this situation.

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The Road to Empathy: The Essay

How about it? Want to learn to be empathic? Want to know when you aren't? Want to improve? I believe that more and more people will be talking about the “need for more empathy.” I believe that the primary cause of conflict in our families, our partnerships, our business, our marriages, our political communities, our churches, and in the world, is a pronounced lack of reliable empathic skills.

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Getting to Work

Work, Work!  In this article I want to share my view of the process of how to get a great relationship from the very widest perspective. I suggest that you read my paper on the Map of Relationship first, to prepare to  grasp this view.


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Where do you start? What goes first?

I often get asked this, and fortunately for me the answer is clear. But let's state the question more clearly. If I am in a couple, a relationship, what do I/we focus on first, second, third, etc. to make things better. Ok, here we go. The answer arises from two different major principles: the Anna Karenina Principle and the Biological Dream.

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Points of View

Relationship confusion. Though I have written many times about this topic, I still find it the hardest for people to grasp. And in all my experience of relating, in starting a relationship, recovering one, maintain a high reliable quality of connection, this is the most important. Here is another attempt to make the relational situation clearer. [I’ve also been reminded that this is Advanced Relationship material – not for beginners.]

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Books I Read

I have received requests to list books that have been, and are, important to me in developing my thinking. Here I will organize that list, and link them to Amazon.com, so that you can get them. This list will grow as I think of them. I am just listing the ones that have been repeatably, and durably, “hot” for me. Enjoy!

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