Safety and The Lizard: The Essay
The first most important skill in any relationship is about how to create a tone of safety – how to reliably lower each other's blood pressure. This paper is the background.
Category Archives: Safety and Trust
Caring Days: Discussion
This is my response to a great set of questions posted on my article on the Problem with Expectations. But it covers so much territory, I decided to repond with an article. My thanks to the Poster.
Continue readingLizard Chats: Seeing as our little friend sees it.
This is a continuation of a discussion begun based on my paper on Safety and the Lizard Brain. An exercise in seeing the partnership of the reptilian brain, how it works, what it is trying to do. Click here for the original article on Safety.
Continue readingCaring Behaviors
This paper is an excerpt from my essay on SAFETY, The Lizard. It describes tactics for “making your partner feel safe.”
Continue readingBecoming a Source of Safety: Practical Steps
I was asked recently what are the steps to follow, practically, when you see your partner backing away from you even in everyday situations. I think the person was simultaneously looking for specific things to do and trying to head off trouble.
Continue readingCaring Days: The Skill
One important issue that all couples face is making things fair and keeping them that way. I believe things are fair when two people both believe they are fair. When either thinks it's not fair, then it isn't. Takes only one for unfairness, and it takes two for it to be fair.
Continue readingAbout the Safety Presentation – “The Lizard”
This is actually a fairly old presentation. Sandra and I found it so valuable for ourselves that we have been giving to all couples for many years. We decided that “making friends” with our internal safety mechanism was a very useful idea. Sandra was the one who first called this reptilian brain function, the Lizard.
Continue readingSafety and The Lizard: A Chart
This is the chart that goes with the Safety/Lizard Essay.
Continue readingBecoming a Source of Safety
The Importance of the Skills of Being a Source of Safety to your Partner, Friends and Enemies. I have found …
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