Section 7: Final Points (CLICK HERE to print entire Map.)
© Al Turtle 2006
Change in my attitude
When I finally figured out the Map of Relationship I experienced a great attitude change. I now really like lovers. I used to make fun of puppy love or infatuation. But now I see young people fully alive to the potential of the Biological Dream. I tend to like the view through their eyes.
I now really like people who are getting a divorce. I used to think of them, and myself, as failures. But now I see them as people who are determined to make it to Vintage Love, and who are refusing to Give-Up. I like those who are learning, taking courses, studying and trying. They are on their way. People like Oprah are a great help. They are my allies.
I’m not too happy with those who’ve chosen Door #2 – those who Give-Up. Sadly they often discourage those who want Vintage Love. And yet, I see them as potential lovers, temporarily lost. I want them to awaken.
I love children. They are fully alive to the Biological Dream, though they may not know it. Their dreams are most wonderful.
The Three times
The Map of Relationships lets me see the three chances we humans have to reach for the Biological Dream – to become fully alive.
At birth, we all awaken to it as a dream. We expect our caretakers to be people who are Relationally Mature, who will care for us in a Biologically Real way. Most of us are dis-appointed. Whenever we fall in love, we awaken once more to the hope of living the Biological Dream. And finally, if we persevere, we can learn our way to Vintage Love, where we live in the Biological Real world. And then we are the kind of people children expect to meet when they are born.
And now I can say what I have always wanted to say. Romantic Love is real and wonderful and…. Possible! The dream within Romantic Love is forever. Realizing that dream, making it real, is doable – just work. Instead of celebrating the romance of marriage so much, I wish we could learn to celebrate the courageous decision to Go For It, and enter Door #1, and to work through the University of Life. And in making the Romantic Dream real, we
all make the world a better place. There is the hand of some great genius in this. This I believe. This is my faith.
I often wonder what the future will be like – where we all are heading. Many people think the world is kind of falling apart, but I see in this change the rise of fully healthy living in connection. The Biological Dream is attempting to re-emerge all over the world in every committed relationship. I see that movement as much more powerful than politics as it crosses all country and economic lines. The wonderful yearning for Romantic Love, I think carries with it a positive virus, the Biological Dream – a virus that is slowly but surely changing the world for the better.
Right now, I meet Vintage Lovers who are often shy and socially fairly quiet. But their numbers are growing. At some time they will become visible enough to powerfully invite others to join them. Then I think that future will really begin to appear.
A future where threat is not the basis for relationship or a part of communication.
A future where there are no outsiders – where everyone belongs.
A future where different opinions are treasured and preserved as a natural course of things.
A future where each person participates, responsibly – making decisions that are honored.
A future where every unique person contributes to each community the unique genius that they are born with.
Wishes for You
In my first comments today I spoke of my wishes for you, the listener. What I wanted for you is that you could see what is going on in our many struggles for intimate relationships. I wanted you to understand how you got where you are, how it makes sense that you are there. I hope you can see more clearly now. What I wanted for you is that you would reawaken that magnificent dream that infuses romantic love. I want you to Go 4 It. I want to you choose wisely which way to go. I want you to stop wasting time. I want you to move efficiently in a direction that works. I want you to see more clearly the options ahead of you. I want you to determinedly Go 4 It.
As you understand where you are and where you are going, I hope that you can reach out and help others along the way. I want you to feel confident that as you Go 4 It for yourself, you are also helping to build a better world, founded on stronger, wiser marriages and relationships that raise healthier, more mature, children. What I want for you is that you feel confident that as you Go 4 It for your self, you are learning to be an example for all people around you of getting along, and thus building a world of peace.
Thank you for contributing to more Relationship Maturity in this weary world. And Thank you so much for joining me on this trip, today. May our shared Biological Dream guide you in every wonderful way.