Dear Nancy, If I were to spend time in my office with you, I still would not know which or whichever direction you should go. I would not know whether maybe you should just go back to sleep and pretend nothing is going on. All that is for you to decide. Use your counselor to think and talk through your plans. The way I look at it, any way you go is "RIGHT". Either you are going to look back on your decision and say, "Wow, I'm glad I chose that." or you will look back and say, "Wow, I sure learned a lesson from that mistake." Either way you win. I can share where I would focus: safety and commitment. I would plan out anything you do with your physical and emotional safety in mind - and his. Safety and trust are the same thingy. If you wanna move toward more safety, you gotta move toward more trust. The articles I've shared with you have the principles and details. Confronting him can easily be seen as a move toward more sharing and toward more trust and away from habitual lying that both of you do. It can also be seen as a kind of attack and a way to vent your perfectly understandable anger and resentment (at yourself and him). I like the venting part - but doing it safely. I don't value the "attack" part. Trading him calling you a little kid for acting like an angry parent doesn't seem like a good deal. I do love the movement toward more truthfulness and safety. Commitment is the bigger issue. By what stretch of the imagination do you believe that either of you display commitment toward anything other than a shallow partnership of living together? I don't know if he wants a marriage of depth. Maybe he's happy with you and his other play friends. Maybe that is the kind of marriage he wants. Maybe you want that too. That is ultimately a question for you to answer - each day. Take a look at my Map of Relationships. Do you want Vintage Love? Then commit to it and work for it. It takes only one. If he wants to come along that would be a bonus. My stuff is all about the practical and theoretical steps to achieve that. Good luck.