Dear Nancy, Thanks for reminding me of that "missing article." It goes on my to-do list, but because you are asking, I'll share a bit now. I imagine that the reason I haven't added to this is that Affairs are such a common problem that they have been written about over and over. Here's a good reference for reading material. Back from Betrayal: Saving a Marriage, a Family, a Life My thinking is that there are two great sources of information that arise from affairs. This stuff must be shared. 1) The issue of TRUST will become a specialty for both members of the relationship. Rebuilding trust can take years. 2) The nature of the affair leads to vast amounts of information about the "affairing partner" that was not being shared. It now must be shared. Again a huge issue of trust-yet-to-be-developed. To build Trust I think you need to get rid of any habits of lying and accepting lies. I suggest my articles on To be safe you must share, and How much should you tell,. Then I think you need to have the whole Lizard and the stuff on Caring Behaviors that follows. And finally you are gonna have to absorb all the stuff on Resentments,, Healing the Past, and then get to work. Best of luck.