Great question and not one I have addressed before. I do have some thoughts – as usual. I think what I have might even be called “good news.” Let’s see if I have it. Both of you have been married before. He is staggering through the Divorce part of the Map of Relationships. You went through that door some 4 years ago. At this point, you’ve been being together for about 6 months. Now what? Up front for you both is the ending of his divorce. But more than that you see him has wanting to do some exploring for a bit, with you fearing potentially being left behind. How’s that!? If you were to read my Map of Relationships you would seen an advantage to the place where you both are. While Romantic Love feels really good, and while it doesn’t last, it is a pretty good signal that you are with a person who is close enough to “mr/ms right.” You both have been through relationships before, have intimate knowledge of the wonderful material of your power struggles, and thus could do some planning ahead. A wonderful guarantee is that if he moves from Partner A to you, he definitely will come to face the same troubles with you that he faced before. And so, the “knowns” are mostly in your hands. What are these “knowns?” They are the behavioral challenges that you have to learn your way out of, not run away from. For most people who are, what I call, asleep, you two have these problems right up front. You can’t make Romantic Love really last long, but you can more quickly that most, start heading for Vintage Love. Hooray! A win for both is that each of you start the learning processes, how to stay an “adult partner” when your partner slips. In your writing I hear the challenge of Master/Slave (manipulation and controlling stuff, “tapping foot, and your impatience), the problem of Reliable Membership (his wanting to explore and your panicky scream and beg, clinging, etc.), and the problem of Safety (his caution and your insecure). I can guess that you need to learn a) patience, b) to stay balanced while he explores, c) boundaries, etc. Sounds as if he needs to learn to a) trust himself first, b) explore himself while keeping you safe and call timeouts when you slip into clinginess, and c) boundaries. What fun! Keep plugging. I suggest you grab the opportunity to move forward through Door #1 quicker. Win-win is in Vintage Love and sharing the journey on the way. My best wishes. Al