Darn glad you are engaging with this topic. Let's see if I can clarify. The way I see it, the Lizard is all about survival, even when survival is not at stake. The Lizard's reactions (Flee, Freeze, Submit, Fight) are frequently crude, panicky, frenzied, and often not the best "thing to do." I like the idea that we want to set aside "Reaction" and become more "Reflective" about how to solve a situation. I think the Lizard gives us crude and immediate clues in a situation it thinks is dangerous and which may be. I think one should never ignore one's Lizard. But I prefer to a) hear its warning and b) choose a wise way of dealing with the situation I am facing. When I speak of "fooling" the Lizard, I am referring to getting a bit of reflective time - time to come up with a healthy and long-term solution to the situation. I once worked with a member of the U.S. Special Forces who had been trained to kill extremely quickly. His Lizard was on edge most of the time and his hands were quite lethal. He told me that "My first reaction, the one that comes on me in the first 4 seconds, usually involves quite a bit of destruction." We talked about inserting a bit of pause into his reactions, settling his Lizard down. I think the goal is to train your cortex into taking care of your Lizard, rather than letting your Lizard rule your cortex. I think if you find your partner is telling lies, or you think they are manipulating you, that should "never" be ignored. Get to work on it, but the wise response is probably not Fleeing, Freezing, Submitting or Fighting. Go to work on fixing the problem. Good luck.