Hello Al, Not too sure if this is the way to ask a question about this article: Safety and The Lizard: The Essay. In any case, here is my question, as I feel challenged by this concept. At the end of your article, you give a quick fix: to confuse that lizard. I think I understand the goal of this: to make one feel safe with your partner, so your Lizard won’t react so much in a panic mode as the chances are it’s reacting passionately to the 95% history part of that person. If you find yourself with a partner with whom you have not felt safe for many reasons such as being lied to or manipulated over and over by that partner (yes, I do understand that this partner may lie because he does not feel safe himself to tell the truth), isn't it kind of dangerous to confuse your own lizard should you be in a relationship with a partner who chooses to be manipulative? That partner may do a lot of these caring behaviours so your lizard do get confused and then does not become aware when there is danger/unsafe situation? Isn’t it training your lizard to not go in panic mode when it should? I probably did not understand the concept fully. Please explain. Thank you. Minou