I was SO HAPPY to read this story. I can find sense in it for me with the fact that I was recently divorced. I'm the clinger/pusher and have somehow managed to stay near this woman. At first I was pushing her and I know I have in the past for us to get back together. I love her so much and the family I had with her means so much to me. It always did but I didn't see it until I was divorced and realize just how much she did for me and our boys. I kind of want to spread some hope though. She and I have talked WAY more now then in our relationship. The safety is there now because there is a big legal/physical boundary. We communicate better and in some ways we are better friends because of it. Something is happening and I'm WAY IMPATIENT to wait and its taken every ounce to hold back as much as I have. I believe we still have that something special even after years of the power struggle (Read the map of relationships). I think she RAN to door number three and I definately find myself in the panic and commit phase. I'm clinging to everyone I know and expressing my desire to have the biological dream and its building positive relationships with other men and women in my life. I still want to build it with her. She still calls to tell me what I did wrong. I'm glad she calls. I do my best to validate her, because it makes sense to her, and I am so happy that she tells me those things. That I provide a sense of safety for her. Thats my goal. So hold your heads high. Keep working on yourself, visibly. Don't push. Survive. Be available. You obviously care/love them and you want that biological dream with them. Keep working on it. Just keep trucking. I know it might be hard if they don't come back but you will find someone who wants the dream and will work on finishing childhood and loving you for the gifts God gave you. Dig into Al's site here. I personally find it excellent. Until I post again, Peace Love and Rock and Roll! :-)