Dear Maggie, I am developing more confidence in my understanding of this situation. First the core problem is not that one is a Master or PassiveMaster or Slave, the core is that you are in this area a friend has called the "Valley of the Masters." A Master needs a Slave to exist. A PassiveMaster needs a Slave to exist. A Slave needs a Master and/or a PassiveMaster to exist. And you can easily switch around what position you are in. Now, if one person leaves this "valley," the other has to climb out as well - eventually. The trick is to show these inhabitants the wall of their valley and the paths up and out. The Slave journey seems the longest. The Master's seems the shortest. The place to go is toward dialogical partnering. The only way I know to help one of these people out is to get out and stay out yourself and to interact with them regularly, firmly and gently from outside the "valley." I fear that a codependent (Slave) counselor or an arrogant, bullying (Master) counselor is no help at all. Good luck. Al