Dear Al, I posted a comment in a different article asking for advice, and then I thought I might expand on that idea for this column. What are your thoughts on attempting to go 4 it with a leaving partner who you feel may not want to go 4 it? Is it your belief that a leaving partner will never completely shut the door and that there is always a slim chance of hope? How do you find out, without overwhelming the leaving partner, if she is allowing for that slim hope to stay alive? I suppose I am struggling with the idea of the passage of time and how long I should remain resilient, when in fact, the leaving partner may have moved on altogether. I can already see your reply: "Johhny- Self-actualization/improvement and keeping the dream of Vintage Love alive go hand-in-hand. They are both a means to the same end." What do the Tea Leaves look like when the message is: “It’s over. I’ve lost my love for you. It’s time for you to move on.” Is this something for me to figure out on my own, or for her to bluntly say to my face? (sounds like I’m still struggling with boundaries and acceptance) Maybe these questions can be answered differently, relative to an individual's own emotional intelligence? For instance: The more disciplined I am, the more patient I can be for my leaving partner, thus, the longer I can hold onto the possibility of achieving Vintage Love with that partner. Do I ask myself: “How stubborn can I be, for as long as I can be, until I am smart enough to figure out that it’s over?” Perhaps you might be able to shed some light on a common phrase my leaving partner has said twice: "If we are meant to be together, we will find each other again at that time." It sounds very Buddhist, but also comes with a lot of uncertainty. Do I find it uncertain because I'm not at peace with myself as much as she is? In some ways it sounds like an ambivalent gesture, but perhaps she just doesn't know yet herself. I suppose I wonder if this phrase is commonly said to end a relationship cleverly and neatly, or if the person says it out of their own indecisiveness. Sincerely, Johnny