Thank you for your reply. I sometimes wonder why I continue to hope for reconcilliation after all these yrs. All I can say is that I am a product of a divorced family,I continue to care deeply about my ex, and I'm not one to give up as long as he hasn't remarried another. However, since we have been divorced many yrs, I can tell I am changing. My one problem is that I can't always tell the difference between him being friendly and cake-eating. My birthday was recently and he calls every yr to wish me the happiest of days. In the beginning I was thrilled because I thought it meant he still cared, but the last couple of yrs , although happy to hear from him, I also am irritated because I think if he cares so much about me having a great birthday, then why didn't he stick around to be with me for them!!!! His OW's birthday is a few weeks before mine and this yr they went away for her birthday weekend- that is what makes me think he is a cakewalker. Having a great vacation with her, but also keeping me in the background,just in case. I also found out through the kids, that he wanted them to tell me he liked my new yard I put in---he drove by to see it--kind of stalkery don't you think??? He and I don't visit on a regular basis, so he would have only known about about activity from the kids. I certainly would not have told them to tell him. I think I feel we are in a dysfunctional relationship and I dont want to encourage that. This is starting to sound like a sopa opera, so I'll stop. JUst letting you know that after all these yrs, divorceed people can still suffer.