Yes, Denise, I have seen this before. Here are some thoughts. Firstly, I have seen people remarry each other after twice divorcing each other - married each other three times. May seem strange, but it wasn't. Just people struggling through life and this was the path they followed. Oh, and both had married someone else in the times between their remarriages. We do seem a remarrying-people. The primary reason people really divorce, I believe, is that they want an improved, better marriage and have finally accepted that their partner is hopeless - cannot change for the better. Well, everyone can change and they do change all the time. "Hopeless" seems just a judgement call on the part of one person and that decision can change too. Once you fall-in-love with someone and stay with them for, oh let's say, at least 6 months, then I tend to consider them an Imago Match - a person with whom you have and will always have the potential to learn your way into Vintage Love. I believe they remain an Imago Match probably for the rest of your life. And so, my experience suggests you can find many Imago Matches over a life time. And "all your ex's" are still candidates. Still people seem to be only able to work with one Imago Match at a time. In your situation, tis possible/probable that the new OW is also an Imago Match for your ex. If they are making progress, even very slightly, toward Vintage Love (or if they are still in the Romantic Phase), then your ex may not be very interested in even checking you out - checking out your status on whether now you seem to be making progress toward Vintage Love. Still things change and the new OW had better be working (and your ex had better be also working) or he may consider pulling the plug on her, too. Anything can happen. You never lose by learning for yourself. You will come across to everyone as a growing, learning person and if he looks in to check you out, you will not look "hopeless" to him. That can make you a bargain deal. But still the skills that lead to Vintage Love can only be learned by practice and that means with a partner to practice with. And so I'm kind of suggesting that while waiting for him you might want to practice with others. Oh. And one other thing. Ex-miilitary generally have a terrible time with relationships and intimacy and getting to Vintage Love. Their training, in service, is completely contrary to the democratic requirements of Vintage Love. But they are not hopeless at all. Just seem to have a bit of a hurdle to cross. Good luck. Al