new to this site, but have been reading for approx one month. Here is my situation. Was married 29 yrs and husband was career military, gone freq the last few yrs of marriage. He had affair for 8 mo before confessing and I did all the wrong things, like crying, begging, etc. We ended up divorcing, approx 12 yrs ago, which was a yr after discovery. He is still with OW, they live together but have no marriage plans. We have four now grown children together, so we have had freq contact over all thes divorced yrs. Three yrs ago, our oldest son, age 39 was diagnosed as schizophrenic. During divorce ex mentioned that son was one of the reasons we were divorcing--this son had a lot of behavior problems as a child and caused much tension in household. The reason I bring this up is that the recent diagnosis , I think has caused my ex a lot of guilt. Anyway, he acts like we are good firends now. I have actually backed way off on talking andleaving voicemails, as I felt I was into a pursuing type mode. Anyway, after one month he left a voicemail stating he hadn't heard from me and to give him a call. Reason I'm writing, is I never wanted divorce and have always held out hope for reconnection. I have gone on with life and stay busy. In the past ex has said if he had to do it over, we would have worked on the marriage. Maybe I'm having false hope as he has not married other woman . Do you have any poss suggestions or thoughts about this situation? Just curious if you have had any success with prev divorced couples reconnecting successfully.