Al, I am so excited and relieved to have found your site! Your ideas make so much sense to me and help me understand myself and my relationships better. I really feel like I lack some basic skills though, and I'm interested in finding help... In your Map of Relationship, you say that learning the skills of the Biological Dream can really only be learned in a relationship. I am a very sociable guy in my early 30s with lots of great friends and would really love to be in a relationship, but it seems like the women I really like, I scare away the fastest. When I think back on the women I have dated, all of them were people I was initially not attracted to, and either I liked them or they liked me well enough to give things a try. There are some women I've met and been really interested in, but don't even seem to get a crack at getting to the four-hour test. From what I've read here, it sounds to me like I am probably making them feel unsafe so early in the game, that the game never even really starts. I feel like I have learned quite a lot about myself and I have a very clear picture of what type of woman I'm looking for. I am so frustrated, discouraged, and sad that I haven't been very successful with the women I've really liked from the get-go. I am now so scared of doing anything about anyone for fear I will scare them away before we ever really get to know each other. When I do act, my anxiety must be palpable and does not bring out the best in me. I would really like help on learning how to connect with women without scaring them away. I feel like I have only found the extremes here, and I want to get to a confident middleground so I can get to an actual relationship. I'm so discouraged and tired of finding someone really interesting and not being able to get anywhere... Thanks!