Well, a quick question, and I'll give a quick response - that may seem overly optimistic. I've worked with many many narcissists. But I've worked with more partners of narcissists. Take heart. I believe narcissists are designed to grow up and develop all those empathy skills. I don't think they will do it alone, and so they require help. At the same time, I believe they are narcissistic because they have been receiving help for years and years - the wrong kind of help. The mistake in approaching a narcissist is to attack them head on. That tactic generally just inflames their own magestic skills in attacking others, they learn nothing, and you can get hurt. I find they can be approached obliquely, and very successfully. Probably the simplest approach is to a) teach them that their temper never ever works to get them what they want, and b) teach them that there are other people in the world who see things differently all the time. This involves identifying their "temper" and reliably taking a timed break from them whenever the use their temper. When they realize that their "temper tools" will reliably get them to be alone, they will start to look for other ways to connect. Now for the tough love part of my response to your question. I've found, and you can find this throughout my website, that people select partners who are equally "crazy" or "dysfunctional." That usually means that the stuff that causes you to pick narcissists is just as "nutty" as the behavior of those narcissists. And I've found that stuff of yours is generally much harder to fix than the "stuff of narcissists." It seems to be a longer journey. But, I believe, we are all designed to get better - grow up. You might want to read more on this website to find out more about your part in this situation and then get to work on it. Counseling, etc. may be really good for you, where it may not be so useful for your partner. Figure out why you are attracted to narcissists and get real specific about what parts of narcissists you need in your life. Then add those qualities to you. Good luck. Al