Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom

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Re: Re: Which Essays are Popular? (Updated March 1, 2007)
by Al Turtle
Thanks for you input and a great question. How to use your single time (between partners) to develop relationship skills? I also like your comment about "partner thinking" vs "just me thinking." I will consider this as a topic. I can share just a couple of thoughts now. When you drop out of a relationship, my experience says you will be exhausted and will need some nice vacation or recreation time. I suggest you do not push back into any relationship for a while. Wait for your own internal "connection clock" to ring. It will and you will start feeling lonely. Don't rush. A lot of the exhaustion has come from trying to make your last relationship better, doing things that do not work, thus tiring and frustrating yourself, until finally seeking the benefit of "quiet time" or what you call "just me" time. I believe the long term goal of a relationship is the achieve the benefits of "just me" time while also having the benefits of a buddy or partner. To me, this is worth the work. When you are peaceful, rested, and perhaps with friends, you might want to look for what you were exhausting yourself doing that wasn't working. You might want to also look into what you were exhausting yourself doing to protect yourself while your partner was doing things that were not working for him. Practicing how to do those things that work in both situations, make them easy to do. And you will probably need them. Good luck. Al
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