Surely both parties need to chooses be dialogical? If one party who previously used mastertalk switches, why would it affect a conflict avoidant spouse? Would the problem not still exist?

I find conflict avoidance far harder to spot than mastertalk and don't know which tools to use to deal with it, should I come across it again.

Hello and welcome here,

Well, I have another take on this. I believe firmly that it takes only one to stop this cycle and to reliably move toward being Dialogical. I've written on this phenomenon over and over.

Also I believe that it is very useful to be just as sharp at noting the passive tactics as it is in noting the active ones.

Check out all my stuff on Master/Slave, Power of Passivity, etc.

Good luck.