Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom

Class on Emotionally Abusive Behavior

Al Turtle — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 16:14:01 -0700

Here is the class I use to distinguish between the communication habits the lead to strive, struggle and distress and those that lead to peaceful coexistence.

Peace and Domestic Violence

Al Turtle — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 09:04:55 -0800

Recently I gave a 3–hour presentation at a conference on Domestic Violence. The title was "Remediating Bullies and Their Makers: A different look at Domestic Violence." Here is the background and one of the Powerpoint presentations.

Election Year - My Thoughts - Obama

Al Turtle — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 10:43:22 -0700

“So, why are you voting for Obama,” I get asked this a lot. It has come up for several months, since I decided to share my preference in this fall’s election. These are my thoughts. They belong to me and yours should differ. If you don't like politics, skip this altogether.

Decision Making in a Heirarchy

Al Turtle — Thu, 14 Jun 2007 09:39:37 -0700

This is an excerpt from my paper on Dialogue in a Hierarchy. It focuses on decision making. It now includes a chart.

Being Dialogical & Avoiding MasterTalk

Al Turtle — Tue, 08 May 2007 15:21:29 -0700

I think that "Being Dialogical" is the inverse of being Emotionally Symbiotic. If we keep an ear out for MasterTalk, and remove it, we can easily and durably stay in a Dialogical space.

Practical Application of Communologue

Al Turtle — Sun, 15 Apr 2007 08:34:08 -0700

This is a writeup of an application of Communologue in a project that I completed 2003-2004.

Avoid becoming a Bully, yourself!

Al Turtle — Sat, 09 Dec 2006 07:56:14 -0800

A conversation with a relationship therapist about avoiding becoming a Bully.

An Application of Communologue: United Way of Kootenai County

Al Turtle — Sat, 11 Nov 2006 12:01:00 -0800

By Donald L. Gibbon. Northern Idaho sounds like it should be about as far away from 21st century social ills as you could get and still have access to modern America’s social benefits. Coeur d’Alene, known to demographers and government bureaucrats as CdA, has a population of only about 35,000, but it’s still the largest town in the state north of Boise, some 460 long miles to the south.

Avoiding Transpersonal Pernicious Behavior in a Group

Al Turtle — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 08:36:08 -0800

Some more thoughts on Guiding a Communologue Group. A new guideline added on Nov 1, '06.

Guiding Communologue

Al Turtle — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 08:34:06 -0800

A list of interventions that can be used to create and maintain a dialogical group atmosphere. A new guideline added on Nov 27, '07.

(audio commentary) Guiding Communologue - Interventions

Al Turtle — Thu, 20 Jul 2006 15:38:43 -0700

This is an audio file of my thoughts about guiding Communologue, listing and explaining the interventions I believe are important. ...

Interviewing the Elephant

Al Turtle — Fri, 07 Jul 2006 06:14:46 -0700

About guiding people into dialogical space.

Notes: Guiding Dialogue (5 July 2006)

Al Turtle — Wed, 05 Jul 2006 08:29:37 -0700

Notes for a Class on Guiding Dialogue

Guide's Role in Communologue

Al Turtle — Fri, 02 Jun 2006 21:37:04 -0700

Thoughts on the Role of a Communologue Facilitator.

Group Core Beliefs

Al Turtle — Sat, 07 Jan 2006 08:55:22 -0800

Strange that last night these came to me. Another new way of looking at "being together in durable peacefulness." Empower whatever group you are in to do the following.

Group Standards for Discussion

Al Turtle — Mon, 14 Nov 2005 07:45:35 -0800

This is a letter I wrote to the Peace Project concerning my group's self-defined standards of Communologue.

To Imago Therapists

Al Turtle — Sun, 18 Sep 2005 12:15:01 -0700

An open letter (probably with lots of typos) that I wrote to any and all Imago Therapists during my vacation in the mountains in early September 2005. In it I pose an important question. Is what I am doing "Imago?"

Thank Heavens for Bullies. We need them.

Al Turtle — Thu, 28 Jul 2005 16:13:24 -0700

Sometimes people get the impression that I want all bullies to go away. But I really think they are valuable. Where would we all be without them? Now, what am I talking about!?

Dialogical Groups: Communologue

Al Turtle — Thu, 14 Jul 2005 14:43:18 -0700

I am currently leading a group based on Communologue principles. These are the core of dialogical skills originally formulated in Imago Relationship, but recently expanded by the Imago Peace Project to include critical factors missing in Imago. Members of the Imago Peace Project (http://imagopeaceproject.org) can teach you these Communologue skills.

Peace Decays into War in Discrete Steps

Al Turtle — Mon, 20 Jun 2005 16:01:51 -0700

A chart of how normal discourse collapses thru arguing, thru violence, into the form of communication we call WARFARE.

Peace Building: The Essay

Al Turtle — Thu, 28 Apr 2005 11:32:22 -0700

When two people come together, they have a choice: to move toward Peace or to move toward War. The choices and the actions/habits that go with them are clear when one studies couples who are successful at bringing lasting Peace and those who are not. Here's my essay on this situation.

Did Dialogue Occur?

Al Turtle — Wed, 23 Mar 2005 08:36:40 -0800

This is a way of scoring to see if you were experiencing dialogue or just normal chaotic conversation.

Diversity and PreValidation: A Chart

Al Turtle — Wed, 16 Mar 2005 15:56:20 -0800

To really grasp Diversity, I think people need to have an image, a model, that makes sense of Understanding and Validation. I have used this model for three years and it works. It defines "making sense", "understanding", "validation" and that most valuable of skills, "PreValidation".

Peace Building: A Chart

Al Turtle — Tue, 15 Mar 2005 12:59:01 -0800

The choices that two or more people have when they come together. Based on the experience of lots and lots of couples who have learned, what the average citizen hasn't, that arguing doesn't work.

MasterTalk: Samples of Dealing with it.

Al Turtle — Sat, 12 Mar 2005 13:35:07 -0800

I use these three terms (Master, Slave, Friend) to refer to the three positions from which and to which communication can be addressed. These are similar to the positions in Transactional Analysis of Parent, Child, and Adult. No one is a Master. They just speak, and perhaps think, from the Master position. No one is a Slave. They just speak from the Slave position. MasterTalk seems extremely easy to identify in conversation and writing.