Favorite Which Essays are Popular? (Updated April 8, 2018)


Still going up, gotta change directions.

People are taking the time to read, download, and hand out my articles – over 134,000 readers in the past year. This is pretty powerful stuff, and I am very gratified that so many are valuing it. My deep goal is, of course, to get to the children. "Happier couples raise healthier kids." And this advice works with any kind of relationship. With your help the world is a little better, a little more connected, than when we found it. Thanks.

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Peace Building: The Essay

When two people come together, they have a choice: to move toward Peace or to move toward War. The choices and the actions/habits that go with them are clear when one studies couples who are successful at bringing lasting Peace and those who are not.  (Sadly, most people I meet chose war!) What do you chose?  Here's my essay on this situation.

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One Liners that have helped me stay Dialogical

I can think of nothing as important as getting to be, and staying, Dialogical. It makes possible solutions to all the relationship troubles. This is the list of one line reminders that I have used over the past 15 years to remind me of "a better way of getting along." I often have had a piece of paper with one of these phrases on my wall (sometimes many walls) at home or in my office where I can see it every day. These are learning tools.

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The Road to Empathy: The Essay

How about it? Want to learn to be empathic? Want to know when you aren't? Want to improve? I believe that more and more people will be talking about the “need for more empathy.” I believe that the primary cause of conflict in our families, our partnerships, our business, our marriages, our political communities, our churches, and in the world, is a pronounced lack of reliable empathic skills.

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Combating Loneliness

A short essay on the new phenomenon of Living Alone.  Seems that this is preferable to being in a relationship where you feel alone.  If your partner feels alone, what can you do to change this and prevent it?  What can you do to not feel alone yourself?  What can you do to impress a new acquaintance that they won't have to feel alone – with you?

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Getting to Work

Work, Work!  In this article I want to share my view of the process of how to get a great relationship from the very widest perspective. I suggest that you read my paper on the Map of Relationship first, to prepare to  grasp this view.


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Where do you start? What goes first?

I often get asked this, and fortunately for me the answer is clear. But let's state the question more clearly. If I am in a couple, a relationship, what do I/we focus on first, second, third, etc. to make things better. Ok, here we go. The answer arises from two different major principles: the Anna Karenina Principle and the Biological Dream.

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Often Read Articles – Archive

In the meantime, here are some links to my more popular articles (in PDF format). What to do when he/she leaves Removing Resentments Power: Master/Slave, Power of Passivity, Passivity in the Foundations: Three Essays Boundaries for Individual: The Essay  Diversity: … Continue reading

Points of View

Relationship confusion. Though I have written many times about this topic, I still find it the hardest for people to grasp. And in all my experience of relating, in starting a relationship, recovering one, maintain a high reliable quality of connection, this is the most important. Here is another attempt to make the relational situation clearer. [I’ve also been reminded that this is Advanced Relationship material – not for beginners.]

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